Captures and Captions - Tommy Gainey

Since its inception in 1962, Wal-mart's slogan has never changed. The phrase, Everyday Low Prices was to follow the aggressive Wal-Mart logo everywhere it was printed. That was until a short time ago when Wal-Mart sacrificed their current logo for something a little more green. A simple flower now accompanies an anything but bold font choice. And the new slogan: Save Money, Live Better is also a greener. But the company's passion to provide the consumer with the lowest prices possible and drive surrounding businesses out of town hasn't changed.

At this weeks Children's Miracle Network Classic presented by Wal-mart, many players were hoping to stay (or get) in the top 125, so that next year their profit potential wasn't cut in half like a mom and pop shop within a 30 mile radius of a Super Wal-Mart. Nothing short of a win would secure full exemption for Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey. A 30 on the back nine Sunday left him just one shot back of Davis Love III who captured his 20th win and a lifetime exemption on the PGA Tour.












BIG BREAK 2 PALS: Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey and caddie Don "Pull the Tape Tight" Donatello celebrate Gainey's 72 hole birdie.

Captions and Captures - Ricky Barnes

MAKING A COMEBACK: Ricky Barnes finished 25th on the Nationwide Tour money list and will be playing on the PGA Tour in 09'. He picked up a contract with Zubaz in the process.

Product Review - Castle Bay Iron Covers

A hack is not complete without a fine set of Castle Bay iron covers. These covers are made of the finest molded rubber, and feature tight squeeze openings to leave you struggling and annoyed all round long. The top of the line covers feature a string to keep you from losing them, but if you do, just dig through the lost and found of any 9 hole muni to get a replacement. Castle Bay offers a wide variety of colors including black, blue, red, and of course ... green.

PERFECT UP-SELL: Attention Salesman: Castle Bay iron covers is the great addition to any 21 piece RAM set.

Real news that could pass for satire ...

WEARING THE ORANGE: A drunk and disheveled John Daly actually showing more cleavage than this Hooters model in his Mug shot with the Forsythe County Sheriff

Drunken John Daly Jailed Following Hooters Incident

Golfer 'extremely intoxicated and
uncooperative' at N.C. restaurant

Winston-Salem Police were dispatched to a nearby Hooters restaurant early the morning of Sunday, Oct. 26, in response to a medical call. When officers arrived, golfer John Daly was unconscious and being treated by emergency personnel. According to police, Daly was "extremely intoxicated and uncooperative," and was asked to leave by several workers. 

After repeatedly refusing to be transported to the hospital, Daly was taken to Forsyth County Law Enforcement Detention Center where he would stay until he sobered up ... 24 hours later.

Daly is a two-time major winner with more than 15-year career on the PGA Tour. He has openly battled alcoholism for all of his career and even admits to winning mini-tour events while drunk prior to his breakout victory at the 1991 PGA Championship. 

JD has also has battled other forms of addiction, admitting to losing between 50 and 60 million dollars gambling. Daly's fourth wife, Sherrie Miller Daly, pleaded guilty to federal drug charges in 2004  and served a five-month prison term. Then in 2007, she allegedly tried to stab Daly with a steak knife following an argument at a restaurant in Memphis, Tennessee causing him to show up for his Friday afternoon tee time at the 2007 Stanford St. Jude Championship with noticeable scratches across his face. His last PGA Tour victory came at the 2004 Buick Invitational where he won in a playoff after hitting a long bunker shot that still frequents highlight reels.

The fact that his latest incident occurred at Hooters would leave most to believe that the incident involved groping a waitress, but lucky for John's already tattered reputation, aggravated sexual contact will not be the latest addition to the charges.

Although Daly's opportunities to play on the PGA Tour will be limited, he plans to utilize every opportunity to play on the European Tour in 2009.

Golfer/Celebrity Look-alikes 9

The Green Blazer is not the first to point out the similarities in the faces of Zack Johnson and Joaquin Phoenix; however, in light Joaquin's retirement news, G Blaze thought this would be a good time for Golfer/Celebrity Look-alikes 9

Cameron's Corner

A detailed look into Scotty Cameron's exotic putter monopoly

The Green Blazer sits in his den with and glass of port, the blue smoke from his tightly rolled billy dancing in the yellow light. He is pondering a question ...

How many people are ebaying "Scotty Cameron" at any given time? This question is difficult to answer. Based on the popularity of equipment nerd sites like bombsquad and golfwrx (who became one of the villians in The Green Blazer's rouges gallery after they booted him from their site), the number could be in the hundreds. Certainly few can afford anything they look at, likely sorting by "highest price first," and keyword searching for "prototype" or "tour only." Surely many of them scour ebay's pages for hours like a 30-year-old virgin at his favorite porn site.

Currently the most expensive Scotty Cameron putter on ebay is the "Scottydale Tour Issue 1996 Prototype" going buy it now for an even $10,000. The second priciest is the "Tour GSS Newport 2" with a welded sole, currently selling for $6800. In mid October 2008, there were 30 Cameron putters priced buy it now for $1000 or more. There were 974 Cameron putters total. No other major manufacturer has a single putter over $1000. Another notable manufacturer, Robert J. Bettinardi highest priced putter on ebay is $849. Which makes him a clear second in the business, but far from first. I guess you could call him the Phil Mickelson of the putter making business.






















ON SALE: Originally this rare model was priced at $7200, so you'd practically be stealing it at $6800

Not only has Scotty Cameron (with the help of Titleist) cornered the high-end putter market, he has also created a market for exotic putter headcovers. There are currently more than 150 Cameron headcovers priced at $100 or more. Today the most expensive is $1250, that's four hundred dollars more than the most expensive Bettinardi putter. More and more headcovers flood the market daily, and Scotty provides a comprehensive list of all of them on his website, ScottyCameron.com. Each cover has a unique look and clever name, such as peel out purple, and hola loops. However, you cannot purchase rare covers directly from the website. Not for very long anyway. When a headcover is released, it is available to Club Cameron members first. Club Cameron is a sort of fan club for Cameron enthusiasts. It gives members access to purchasing rare Cameron items straight from the man himself before they become available in the store. Generally the Club Cameron members scoop the limited number of covers before the public has access, then these members flood ebay creating the spectacle present today. However, for very rare headcovers, Cameron does a lottery. This is how it works according to ebay seller storyteller1_us, who is selling the 2008 Gold Ryder Cup Headcover:

"They are bought from Scotty Cameron, getting a rare one like this is just the luck of the draw. You place an order for an item and if you are lucky you get a very limited edition one. I have been buying from him for about 5 years and this is the first time I have received a rare one."


















1 in 10: A U.S. win helped make this one a classic. There are only 10 in existence, but more than likely, the bros at AME (the company that manufactures all Cameron headcovers) knocked out a few extra for their own personal gain.

By the way the seller decribes it, you give Scotty money, he gives you a headcover, but makes no guarantees about the model. To become a part of Club Cameron, send him $92. In addition to priority purchasing, you will receive official 2008 Club Cameron headcover, visor, a license plate frame, decal, and pin. All of which, you can sell on ebay for more than $92 total.


















USELESS CRAP: The Club Cameron headcover is almost as gay as the visor, which is almost as gay as the license plate frame.

Cameron doesn't stop at just putters and headcovers. He also sells exotic grips and towels going for as high as $77 and $150 respectively. There are other consistently high priced items that also happen to be backed by the Acushnet Company like Footjoy Exotic golf shoes, being sold for more than $2,000 at any given time. Expensive, even for the "finest golf shoes ever made," but there is good news: They come with a Scotty Cameron divot repair tool.

For $100, it must be Moore than just a hat

Ryan Moore, one of a few true bros on tour (complete with long shaggy hair and facial scruff,) felt right at home this week at a tournament hosted by god among bros Justin Timberlake. Moore is best known by bros for popularizing what is known as the cadet-style hat, an instant classic in the relatively small niche of golfing bro headwear. The hat is also known as "military," "castro," "painter," "ranger," and "the hat that Ryan Moore wears."

After Moore brought the hat to the tour, ping released their own version in Moore's honor. The hat remained in the line until a short time ago; however, upon removal, the ebay price skyrocketed to some going for as high as $100. This indicates a lingering demand among bros. Ping will likely recognize this soon, and reintroduce a new version of the hat to their line causing the price of all Ping cadet hats to return to reasonable levels.

The demand for the hat should remain high as long as Moore continues to wear it, although it seems he has forgone the cadet hat and went for the tennis sweat guard headband instead.














This could throw a crucial variable in the equation, as bros may now label Moore a total douchebag, thereby devaluing the cadet hats without a reintroduction from Ping. In order to keep tabs on this one, you'll have to continue to study the golf equipment/attire boards at ebay like a dateless GolfWRX message board groupie on a Saturday night. Have fun.

You know the course is a dump when...

They threaten removal for stealing or playing with range balls



Thanks to GB Corps member John Stone who sent us this pic

Tiger plotting to one up Jordan's unimpressive baseball career

We've all heard tales about the incessant ball busting between Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan. They're friends, but use every opportunity to zing one another in an effort to validate their most dominating athlete label. Upon hearing the jaw-dropping news that Micheal Jordan will be the assistant's assistant at the 2009 President's Cup, Tiger will reportedly take it up a notch and try his hand in baseball before returning to golf. He took this move straight from MJ's bag of tricks, mirroring the Hanes underware model's stint with the White Sox in the '90s. Tiger can be seen scouting at Sunday's Dodgers/Phillies game.

Phil's looming career as an actor

Phil Mickelson had a role in tonight's episode of the HBO hit show Entourage, as "freakishly tall golfing partner."

Phil's weight-loss strategy for the role was to simply elongate himself, thereby distributing his weight more evenly throughout his colossal frame. Plus, his agent negotiated for him to only appear alongside actors he was at least 2 feet taller than.

Congratulations Phil, after this Entourage appearance you've really developed a certain stature as an actor.

Speak of the Week - The Pro Lag

This glorious speak of the week submitted to us by Blazercorps member Chris.


"For most golf pros, especially the golf "proseph;" (golf pro who is also a broseph,) by the time you're on your eleventh straight day of 5 a.m. shifts out there it can get old real quick. If you need an afternoon pick-me-up and the crappy pro shop coffee isn't doing the trick, sometimes the occasional "pro-lag" is in order. Follow these steps:

- Score yourself some herb, (there's probably plenty flowing around the caddy barn)

- Find a group to pair up with for a couple holes

- When you see an opportunity, dip back behind your group in a casual lag fashion. Let them get way up there and take their shot, while you sneak yourself a few rips of the good stuff.


As stated by a respected proseph, "If you've been working too hard to even play a round, you pretty much owe it to yourself to blaze a round. That's what I always say."


And that's what we always say too. Thanks, Chris. Not just for your brilliant speak-of-the-week contribution, but to all you've given the sport. You and the rest of you overworked and underpaid pros and prosephs out there can have a pro-lag on the Blazer this week.

PREZ LAG: Bush most likely pro-lagged before this classic sound byte.

DHL - What a bunch of racist bastards

Racist DHL golf commercial


This new DHL commercial that takes place out on a golf course has been getting quite a bit of play during the MLB playoffs on TBS.

The Green Blazer was able to get a hidden tape of the marketing meeting where this donkey was hatched, and it's ugly. The recording was even crappier than our crappy recording of the commercial, but we can make out the end pretty clearly. Basically, the marketing guys at DHL are total racists.

Picking up around minute 35 of the ad brainstorming session ...

Ad guy 1: Well, it sounds like a great spot, but the only problem I see is how are we going to be able to convince the viewer this slacker employee, call him Bob, is not on a nice golf course the first time we see him.

Ad guy 2: We'll have him dressed in non-golf attire.

Ad guy 1: No, that's not going to work, numbnuts. He has to look nice or he wouldn't've been able to get on the course to begin with.

Ad manager: (sighing) Well, let's take a break, everyone, and think this one through.

Ad guy 4: (leaves first, then runs back in and slams door) I'VE GOT IT!!!

Ad guy 1: For christsake, what do you got man?

Ad guy 4: I know how we can make him have the right attire but also make the viewer assume this person is anywhere but a golf course in the first shot!

Ad guy 1: Well goddamnit what is it?

Ad guy 4: ... We make him black.

20 seconds of silence later...

Everyone in room: (massive cheers) whooo hooooo hoooooo!

Ad guy 1: It's brilliant!

Ad manager: Run it boys, that's a rap. Begin casting for a black guy in a golfer's vest asap and I'll see you fellas tomorrow. Great meeting everybody, keep up the good work. This one's a hit!

LAUGHING AND CHEERING: The scene in the DHL ad meeting when the savvy team figured out how to make the viewer assume the slacker is not on a golf course the first time we see him: By making him black. 

TaylorMade's line sparse in '09

Now only 7 to choose from

TaylorMade has decided to get stingy with their driver line in 2009. Currently they offer 12 different models, but will soon be scaling back to a meager, yet lucky, seven. The nerds at GolfWRX have not responded well to this news so far. TaylorMade's chinciness has caused an uproar on the boards, and WRX's tireless moderators are scrambling to calm the masses. Below is a list of the super streamlined lineup for '09:

Burner (NEW [that's right, another one already])
Burner TP (NEW)
r7 Limited (NEW)
r7 CGB Max
r7 CGB Max Limited (NEW)
Burner Draw (NEW)
r7 Draw

UPDATE:
In 2010, TaylorMade plans to combine all 7 remaining drivers into one. The R7 CGB Superquad Tour Burner TP Draw (looks very similar to the r7 460) . The prototype is available for $1999 on Ebay.

Speak of the week - Paging Dr. Wayright

Next time your playing partner shoves one out to the right (and he's not raging pissed about it), call out, "Paging Dr. Wayright." 60% of the time this one works ... Everytime.

















OTHER FAKE DOCTORS: They are not doctors, but they play one on TV

You know the course is a dump when ...

You know the course is a dump when ... There is a sign keeping hacks, armed with 30' long ball retrievers, from cleaning out the Pinnacle infested ponds.