Friday, November 30, 2007

Trump will Build the World’s Greatest Golf Course Somewhere Other than Aberdeen

Donald Trump’s plot for world domination took a step backward yesterday as his proposal to build the world’s greatest golf course (along with 1500 homes and a hotel) was shut down by members of the infrastructure committee. The vote went seven for the proposal and seven against, but committee chairman Martin Ford scored in overtime by using his casting vote to reject the bid. Many members of the community in favor of big business development in environmentally safe areas were outraged by the decision. One resident went so far as to assault a liberal councilor who opposed the project. Ms. Storr described the incident by overusing the term “hurl abuse.”

"I heard a banging on the door and when I opened it there was a woman standing there who proceeded to hurl abuse at me.

"She was very angry it had been refused and continued hurling abuse at me.

"I asked her who she was and if she would moderate her language. She told me who she was, but she did not moderate her language. She continued hurling abuse at me.”

When the abuse hurler became annoyed by Storr’s smugness, she hurled even more abuse by cursing at Storr and shoving her. The only hurl abuse the Green Blazer sees is himself wanting to hurl after hearing Storr's abuse of the term.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Movie Monday - Golf Gods Givith, then Takith Away

No one said Golf Gods had to be fans of Christians ...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Satire - Even Tommy Armour III won’t sign with Tommy Armour

Tommy Armour Golf's notoriety has been on a gradual downslide since the days the 845 was a tour favorite. It's gotten so bad that the brand can't even sign Tommy Armour himself. After the release of the Hywood, the equipment company decided to make one last ditch effort to sign their main man. Although the deal guaranteed him nearly double what he gets now, TAIII didn't take the bait. He said his game is somewhat unstable as it is, and using second-rate equipment may make it worse. When the equipment company pointed out that the deal wouldn't require TAIII to use Armour equipment, just where the hat, TAIII responded by saying, "None the less...I still don't want to be associated with that sort of underperformance." He also mentioned that it doesn't make sense selling out to a lesser quality company for more money at this point in his career.

Bravo to Tommy Armour for leading the stand against unsatisfactory equipment. He receives the Green Blazer Keepin it Real Award '07


Monday, November 5, 2007

Dick Johnson Thrusts His Way to Victory

Despite not being the longest, Dick Johnson definitely had the best stroke at the Nationwide Tour Championship last weekend as he rhythmically pounded the field at the Barona Creek Golf Club.

Stamina intact, Johnson wasn’t spent after a quadruple bogey on Saturday, and Dick continued to get it in the hole under par as he rode the leaderboard on top, giving a big "In your face," to anyone who ever doubted the larger-than-life Johnson.

According to a former caddy and washer of Dick Johnson’s balls, “Dick Johnson may be really swinging well right now, but there’s no doubt his extra stiff shafts and large club head have helped raise his game.”