Monday, December 31, 2007

Movie Monday - Mike Weir: Biggest Duck Hook Ever

Mike Weir, embarrassed after biggest duck-hook ever, stares down driver like it's faulty. It's reminiscent of a chop blaming his hackiness on his equipment. "It went like that."

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Satire Saturday - Hair growth drug targets Jim Furyk as face of wealthy young balds

Today Jim Furyk announced that Propecia will join Srixon and Exelon as official sponsors for the ’08 PGA tour season.

The third ranked golfer in the world said he was excited about the new relationship with Propecia. "At first I wasn't very thrilled that I was being targeted by male pattern baldenss, or, I mean, by propecia for male pattern baldness," said Furyk. "But now that I've finally just accepted it it's made my life a lot easier." The deal will require the construction of a specialized hat for Furyk, which will be branded in the specific areas that male pattern baldness occurs (vertex area of the head and the lateral sides of the forehead).

A spokesman at Merck, the pharmaceutical company that has the rights to the Propecia trademark, said they have a comprehensive program for Furyk and the trademark. “We have a whole system worked out to get Propecia involved in Jim’s life,” said the spokesperson.

In addition to displaying the name brand on the pattern baldness areas of his hat during tournament play, they have worked the deal so Jim will receive a daily dose of 4mg (as opposed to the usually prescribed 1mg) to “show off the drug’s capabilities,” according to the spokesperson.

About targeting Jim Furyk, the Merck spokesman said “Lets face it … most golfers are older males, and older males struggle with balding. Jim is the perfect person to represent Propecia. Besides being one of the winningist players, he might also be the baldingist player on the PGA Tour.”

Initially Furyk was all for Merck’s total life plan. In fact, Furyk mentioned his personal confidence becomes dashed on the rare occasions he is seen hat removed. His only reluctance appeared when he heard claims that Propecia was known to cause erectile dysfunction. His mind was put at ease when he heard Merck's official response to the claims. According to the pharmaceutical giant, the underperforming men in the tests "probably couldn’t achieve an erection anyway."

Monday, December 17, 2007

Movie Monday - Tiger Waits on a Fumbling Patraig Harrington

Tiger gives Padraig Harrington the classic, "Hurry the f*ck up pose" as Padi and his caddy frantically fumble around taking a drop near the lateral hazard. Padi, along with Rory Sabbatini's bitchass, who withdrew for personal reasons (he was hacking) , might find their invitation to next year's Target World Challenge lost in the mail...

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Green Blazer Voted Coolest New Golf Blogger

The Hooked on Golf Blog recently voted to be the coolest new golf blog of 2007.

Thanks for the article, and some props back to you, HOG, for your foresight in those matters of URL claim staking. Unfortunately one of G Blaze's Arch Enemies has already snatched the aforementioned URL, no doubt tipped off by the notoriety of your published observation. You have some villains in your readership, HOG; but no worries, The Green Blazer understands it's nothing personal. Alas, in a world where superheroes exist, there will always be supervillains trying to thwart them.

Nonetheless it's to no matter, as The Green Blazer had something more apt and poignant already pre-registered at the time of the unsolicited yet much appreciated recognition from "about the fourth golf blog ever created," as self-proclaimed in the generous and well-crafted journaling.

Thanks, hookedongolfblog, for your recognition. Like Steve Stricker winning, "comeback player of the year" twice consecutive, The Green Blazer will be looking forward to your vote for coolest new golf blog of 2008 as well.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Introducing Satire Saturday

Woods' Self Sufficiency Drives Swing Coach Into Depression

It has been reported that Hank Haney, swing coach of Tiger Woods, has slipped into a severe state of depression over the last few months. Woods has backed off his time spent with Haney this off-season, apparently causing an emotional breakdown in the usually stable Haney.

“It’s just not fair,” said a sobbing Haney in a recent interview. “I treat him so good; why do we need to take these breaks?”

Woods said he was surprised to hear his swing coach was taking the separation that seriously. “I thought we had an understanding that this was just a break,” he said.

This coming from a number one golfer who is no stranger to relationship problems. Who can forget the superstar's separation from world-renown instructor Butch Harmon, a train wreck that finished about as smooth as the mud-packed face of a hacker's PureSpin "Diamond Faced" sand wedge. Butch was able to dampen the sting by acquiring Phil Mickelson, the world's number two, but apparently the number two isn't big enough to fill the void Tiger left. Harmon himself even said “The empty space never gets filled when you lose the precious, or, I mean, something that precious.”

According to Woods, the relationship with Haney was growing stagnant and a little space this off-season was needed. "As I've said, this is just a break," reiterated Woods. "It's not him, it's me."

This should be good timing for Haney, whose ailing wife is in need of nurturing at this time, but Haney seemed to feel being on the range with Woods was more important. "My wife, she's family, but not as much as Tiger has become my family. And nothing's more important than family ... Even if he doesn't always realize it."

Woods has made it clear on several occasions that Haney was still his teacher. Haney's paints a different picture, however, suspecting Woods may have been seeing another swing coach prior to requesting the separation. Woods called the allegations “Ridiculous.”

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Robert Allenby and Ian MacCallister Lead Voice Against Party Hole Concept

At this year's Australian Open, they are throwing out golf's traditional "quiet please" atmosphere and instead are trying to capture the ambience of a drunken social gathering. The 11th hole at Australia's national tournament will feature a fully stocked bar, loud music, and an MC whose sole mission is to pump up the crowd. Robert Allenby (along with lead traditionalist against Titleist's NXT golf ball, Ian MacCallister) lead the group of in opposition to the party concept. Despite their efforts, Golf Australia is embracing the idea. The players themselves have also been generally accepting of the initiative, just so long as the noise from the gallery is consistent.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Movie Monday: Fore Inventors Only Confrontation

The Blazer "Firmly Believes" Steve Duemig hated this guy from the get go...

Monday, December 3, 2007

Movie Monday - Vijay is a Bad Ass

Rick Lerner peed his pants immediately following the interview