Friday, December 21, 2012

Johnny Walker challenges Mastercard for worst attempt at golf commericial

With their most recent commercial, Johnny Walker put up a good challenge to Mastercard for the worst  ever golfcentric commercial for a non-golf industry product. 

In 2007, Mastercard hit us with the "Cleveland loft wedge" slip up. This happened during one of their over 1000 Priceless commercials they released between 2002 and 2010. That slip up happened after the marketing team's gunner, a 12 handicap that plays a weekly nine hole league, said the L on the bottom of the wedge stands for loft. Now, Johnny Walker is challenging by not even having the slightest clue on how golf clubs are sold.

He could just text you back tomorrow
He could just call and make sure you got home alright
And you could just give him a pitching wedge this year


This commercial has pulsed relentlessly on Golf Channel for the last month or so, which is ironic because some would call it an anti-golf commercial as it attempts to dissuade women from purchasing a golf club for their man for Christmas; instead buy him some whiskey. But, Johnny Walker can't hold golf down. Like the village idiot after drinking a bottle of whiskey, Johnny Walker managed fumble around and fall flat on their face.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Captures and Captions: Bet you even got a little bit of weirdness in you

PUTTING LIKE A WEIRDO: In 1920, they called it "Diegeling" named after Leo Diegel (pictured). This first ever belly putter would not be legal under 14-1b

DROPPING THE ARM-ANCHOR: The first "new" arm-anchoring siting since they announced the proposed rule change. We couldn't identify this Champions Tour, Matt Kuchar wannabee, so if any readers know who that man is, please comment. What's weird is if that shaft creeps above his elbow joint, BAM ... two stroke penalty. 

WHAT'S WEIRDER: A bird trying to steal your golf ball, or a golf ball that looks like a mini soccer ball? This made Golf Channel's picks of the week, but there was no mention of the markings on the ball. This could be the first sign that the days of the boring white ball might be limited. Before this goes too far, the USGA should probably write a rule now prohibiting the use of any ball that isn't plain white

BELLY LAUGHS: This weird looking club would be illegal to adjust while on the course, yet it's unlikely someone who actually purchased this would care about the rules. Golfers first lol'd about how stupid this club was 15 years ago during it's first SkyMall tour. Now, it's hard to argue it will not be long before a reputable company releases irons with adjustable lofts. Stay tuned for a detailed post about adjustable irons later this week. Until then, keep the greens ablaze.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Arm-Lock: Let us count the ways

With Odyssey's anticipated release of the "Arm-Lock" putter, set to drop 01/15/2013, anchoring a putter to one's forearm might be the next big thing. But, all arm-locking isn't the same, so let us count the ways:

BERNHARD LANGER ARM-LOCK: Bernhard Langer shows the yips who's boss by using a modified arm-lock where he grabs his left arm. This has since been named the "Bernhard Langer grip."

MATT KUCHAR ARM-LOCK 1: Kooch, pictured here at the Northern Trust Open, uses a reverse-overlap putting grip with the butt end of the club extended up his lead forearm. This is the same grip he uses today.

MATT KUCHAR ARM-LOCK 2: Kooch using a lead-hand-low grip with the shaft anchored well up the forearm. 

LEAD-HAND-LOW ARM-LOCK: Pictured here is a standard lead-hand-low putting grip, the most subtle way of arm-locking. Since a golfer pushes the fingers of the trailing hand, into the forearm/wrist, this is considered an arm -anchor. Since this grip is similar by definition to the "Kuchar method," many believe that lead-hand-low opened the door to longer putters anchoring higher up the forearm.

SHAWN MICHAELS RECEIVING AN ARM-LOCK: Wrestler Shawn Michaels shows off his arm locked in the monstrous bicep of another wrestler. 

Friday, December 7, 2012

It's not time to drop anchor just yet

A not so new way to blaze the greens

The anchoring era is over ... Or is it? Now that rule 14-1b smacked the golf world upside the head harder than Woody Austin after a really bad putt, a new era of anchoring may be upon us. This era, led by none other than 2012 Players Champion, Matt Kuchar, is saying goodbye to belly-anchoring and hello to forearm-anchoring.

Kuchar started employing forearm-anchoring beginning with the 2012 season where he finished 25th on the PGA Tour in strokes gained putting. Compare that to the 2011 season when he was using a belly putter to finish 26th in strokes gained putting. Obviously, the man affectionately known as Kuch, could probably putt well with a meatball attached to the end of a wet noodle, so stats don't much matter here. 

What does matter is golfers, both professional and amateur, finding a method that will help them overcome the yips. The yips are a motor function problem, caused by fear of missing a putt, that results in a involuntary twitch at or near the moment the putter impacts the ball. By many accounts, no amount of practice can save a golfer suffering from this affliction. A golfer could make 200 in a row from two feet on the practice green, then completely miss the hole on their first two footer of a real round. The yips have affected famous golfers throughout history including: Old Tom Morris, Harry Vardon, Johnny Miller and most famously Bernhard Langer.

Langer has had the most documented case of the yips in golfing history and has beat it on numerous occasions. If the yips are a disease, then anchoring (usually a broomstick putter) is the cure. This rule affects the yipping community, some say as high as 25% of total golfers, more than anyone else. The long putter wasn't the first cure that worked for Langer though. Langer first beat the yips using a forearm-anchoring technique, somewhat similar to the one Kuchar uses.

Although Odyssey Golf introduced a new line of putters set to release on 1/15/13 called "Arm-Lock," they aren't the first putter company to capitalize on this putting method. Bobby Grace Putters, a putter maker who has designed for both Cobra and MacGregor, has an "Arm-Anchor" line out now. Odyssey says their "Arm-Lock" will have a loft of 7 degrees to make of for the increased shaft lean employed by this method. Bobby Grace employs a bulged face, which creates variable loft. He describes the construction in a question that was reposted on GolfWRX:

"Your loft question is a good one. Our putters do not have loft, they all have a radial face which works well with the arm putter. What we do is to set up the putter with the shaft angle in a forward lean.  This does not change the angle of our face.  The radial remains the same but the shaft is completely different.  If you use it as a belly putter it will look about 5 degrees hooked."

For this reason, anchoring your belly putter to your forearm may not work.

If you've found you've beat your yips senseless with an anchor, you might not want to release that anchor from your ship yet, just move it to a different spot. Or ... Claw it to death. Until next time ... Keep the greens ablaze

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Star “Sesame Street” actor Count von Count died of natural causes Friday. The cast and crew of “Sesame Street,” released the following statement in memoriam: “A member of the ‘Sesame Street’ family for more than 40 years, he will forever be in our hearts and remembered for the artistry in his puppetry, his music, and the laughter he brought to children worldwide…”

Golfer/Commentator David Feherty, who has long been accused of looking exactly like Count remembered the good times in a recent interview ... "One couldn't count the number of times von Count and I pulled the old switcharoo. I'd give him the golfing groupies and he'd give me the acting groupies. This was a good deal for me except I could always count on him to give me the sloppy seconds."

This satire has been brought to you by The Green Blazer. RIP Jerry Nelson, voice of Count von Count.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Range Drill: You only get one shot, Do not miss your chance to ...

Thanks to 2bitCC_Romeo for providing The Green Blazer with this great exercise for simulating first tee pressure ... Enjoy

"You only get one shot do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a bucket ... Yo! "

Golfers hate to end a range session on a bad shot. This is why you see many folks scurrying into the line of fire in order to pick up a couple more nuggets to end their session on a high note. We've found a great drill that actually uses this innate tendency to simulate real course pressure. 

Unless you're playing at a private club or a top notch public, a golfer's typical range bucket will consist of about 20% of golf balls that are nearly unhittable. Most golfers hit these without a thought while the savvier bunch warms up with them using a less than full swing. If you're looking to get the feel of first tee gitters, try this drill:

First separate your good balls from you bad ones before you begin your session. Start by going through your normal range routine, hitting only the good balls. Do this until you are left with only one good ball left. Make sure you have the utmost confidence in this ball. It should be among the shiniest in the bucket, so depending on the dumpiness of your range it might not be that shinny, but do your best.

Then, switch to your sand wedge and hit the torn up balls using only your half swing. This will help take you out of full swing mode.

Finally, tee up that final shinny ball for one good swing with your driver. Before you start your routine, you've already made up your mind that you're not going to be range diving for one or two more. Your going to hit the shot and leave, regardless of where it goes. Picture your shot, complete your preshot routine, and go.

This drill will help get you into the realization that on the course, you only get one chance. This is something easily forgotten when robotically hitting ball after ball. 

If the driving range charges you a dollar to putt, it's safe to assume that at least 20% of the golf balls will produce a draw-fade. (A shot that starts off with hook spin but by the time it's on its descent, the nearly dimpleless service stops the spin and the ball falls the other direction).

Monday, August 13, 2012

B-Roll The Golf Channel a Cigarette

The Golf Channel ran a lengthy package Wednesday thoroughly expounding the long putter on Live From the PGA Championship. The piece was well detailed and showed myriad player reactions ranging from stuffy snob Monty denouncing it, to Tim Clark hinting that he would file a lawsuit for lost revenue if the putter was banned.

Golf Channel's abundant b-rolls usually roll by without the viewer giving them any thought. But, Wednesday one stood out:

Is that a Camel?

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A history lesson for -- Allan Robertson, Old Tom Morris, and the death of the feathery

Recently has adopted an actor to play Old Tom Morris and act as a cover boy to their new marketing ploy. The TV commercials have various skits showing Old Tom playing the standard time traveler role, acting ignorant to the ways of modern day life.

He has various lines like, "Just a stone's throw from my wee stone house" and "I have yet to engage in a round of smacking the feathery."

It's crap. And thus ...

Tales from the Green Blazer Corps presents

Allan Robertson, Old Tom Morris, and the death of the feathery 

Before the time when the Green Blazer was the most sought after coat in the game of golf, it was the Red Jackets of St. Andrews that ruled the game.

Since its official inception as a golf club in 1754, all St. Andrews members donned red blazers with shiny brass buttons. The early Red Jackets were an entitled bunch of bureaucrats that trolled the links cursing at caddies, drinking whiskey and smoking tobacco from a pipe. They were a rude gang that the greatest golfer in Scotland, Old Tom Morris, did not take kindly to.

Old Tom did intend to make a profit off the red blazer crew, though, albeit in a much different way than golfnow is currently trying to make a profit off Old Tom. You see, Old Tom was in the club and ball-making business, and he had a shop in the town of St. Andrews. He had learned the trade from one of the most respected feathery makers in all of Scotland, Allan Robertson. Robertson was the first golfer ever known to ever break 80 for eighteen holes and was the best golfer in Scotland for much of his time. Robertson taught Old Tom everything he knew about golf, how to play it and how to profit from it.

After wood balls and before the gutta-percha, the golf ball of choice was a feathery. Featheries consisted of a leather casing crammed with goose feathers, which were softened by boiling. The ball was then knocked into shape and painted white.Ro

Stuffing a feathery wasn't an easy task. Robertson would tell young ball stuffers a likely true tale about a man dying after impaling himself when he slipped with all his body weight on a tool that stuffed the feathers into the leather casing. Morris worked at Robertson's shop as a young lad making featheries and fixing clubs.

Around 1850, the gutta-percha ball made its way to the home of golf. Gutta-percha is a kind of tree sap which golf ball makers would process and let harden in a ball shape before adding dimples to the surface. Allan Robertson detested the new golf ball and was nothing short of vehement in his support of the original feathery. Robertson even bought as many gutties as he could at one time only to set them ablaze in an attempt to keep the balls from reaching the public. 

One day when Old Tom was playing golf he ran out of golf balls and ask a playing partner if he could have one of theirs. They handed Tom a guttie, which he played for the remainder of the round. However when Allan caught wind that Tom had used a guttie, he denounced his friend and protege. The two had a falling out and Tom soon moved away to Prestwick to work at their club. Tom would eventually set up a shop making his own gutties, and selling them to the red blazers. It took a while, but even Allan gave into the guttie as he eventually had a guttie shop of his own. Recently a rare Robertson feathery sold at auction for $19,581. 

So what's the history lesson to GolfNow depicts a version of Old Tom Morris that is at minimum 50-years-old, so he would not be "engaging in a round of smacking the feathery" and rather would be "engaging in a round of smacking a guttie."

Fake Old Tom Morris from the commercials is looking glum because he hasn't yet engaged in a round of smacking a gutta-percha.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

The UPSCup cometh ...

Poor FedEx. They're trying so hard with the whole social media thing. They've got a great opportunity to really promote their business with some promotional-yet-fun status updates, they've done a good job training their employees to like said updates when they post them, they've got their page tailored in a way that you cannot post complaints to their wall, but they just can't get around the damn comments! This week, all they wanted to do is write a harmless little Facebook post to plug their golf club shipping service, and they were bombarded with 85 complaints from angry FedEx users. 

Among the highlights:

Eric Linneman Ship clubs with FedEx? Not after you destroyed my prints last week folding in half a box that was clearly labeled "DO NOT FOLD".
Steve Phillips You can ship your golf clubs by FedEx. They may not get there on time, but they may get there eventually after they have sent them back to where they came from just for fun
Eva ELisabeth I don't care about golf. I want my package. Last time the package was left with my neighbor & I'm not neighborly.
Sam Shaw I wouldn't trust them with my golf clubs after this experience....I am still waiting, they now want me to stay home from work another full day
Becca Slatten i had to go pick up my packages!!! after ur driver told me "fuck u bitch"
Jon Pare Playing a little golf. Hopefully you're better at that than scheduling pick ups that never happen. FedEx sucks big time!

Amid a virtual torrent of negative feedback regarding bad service, FedEx is still using a portion of their limited resources to keep up a Facebook page. The page is routinely bombarded with a virtual torrent of negative feedback. 
So why, you may ask, are these people using FedEx if they're so disappointed with their service? A common theme is reflected in the comments to the golf club shipping post:

Azra Skye Freas I ususlly deal with UPS but the company I ordered it from goes through Fedex.
Janet Moran UPS is the better company but some of the time I don't have a choice due to the company from which I order.

A few savvy commenters were able to drive right to the heart of the issue. 

Alex Pelling How can FedEx monitor this site and take them selves seriously???
Keith Kerrigan How this organization is a $43 billion dollar company is beyond me.

And the funny thing is, every comment seen here came from just this one simple post about golf club shipping. Poor FedEx deals with hundreds of complaint comments from hundreds of different users every time they update their status. Between last year's FedEx driver caught on tape fiasco (which is up to nearly 9M views on youtube) and what we're seeing on their Facebook page, what we now know as the FedExCup will be the UPSCup in the time it takes them to make an overnight delivery. 

... Meaning, there's still plenty of time for FedEx to turn it around. 

Alex Pelling Iam 3 weeks into waiting for a guarenteed 3 day delivery!

Monday, August 29, 2011

The Dan Plan insults golfers everywhere

Dan McLaughlin

If a person that had never touched a golf club before told you that he was going to be on the PGA Tour with just five years of work, you would probably consider him or her egotistical and delusional, but that is hardly the attitude The Golf Channel and other media outlets have toward Dan McLaughlin and his Dan Plan.

The Golf Channel's "Golf in America" feature on Golf Central made an attempt at an inspirational piece Monday about The Dan Plan, a plan where a single 32-year-old quit his job to use what he describes as unlimited time and resources to make it to the PGA Tour in 5 years having never played a single round before.

The piece was painted as inspirational and might have been for some, but many real golfers were down right insulted.

"Who does this hump think he is?" asked Xtopher Woods, a well-respected plus two handicap from Oceanside, CA. "This guy reads a couple books, and now he thinks he can become a top stud with a mere 10,000 hours of dedication ... What a joke. This guy is a complete loser."

The 10,000 hours Woods is referring to is what The Dan Plan centers around. Dan believes that through 10,000 hours of "deep practice" or "deliberate practice" he can be one of the 250 or so golfers regarded as the best in the world. Although The Golf Channel didn't explicitly state how Dan came up with the plan, his fantastic notion likely arose after reading the hit book "The Talent Code."

In The Talent Code, Author Daniel Coyle came up with his own Dan Plan where he sought of talent hotspots and tried to discover what causes them. Not more than a quarter of the way through the book, Coyle coins the 10,000 rule where he specifically refers to deliberate and deep practice. Coyle spends much of the book discussing how talent his grown in the body in the form of of a substance that coats nerves called myelin, which grows fastest through deep practice identifying a particular thing to improve upon.

Although The Talent Code has many merits, the 10,000 rule isn't one of them as it applies to golf. It is highly unlikely that a young, athletic physical specimen from a warm state could successfully accomplish Dan's plan much less an admittedly non-athletic, 5'7", 145lbs 32-year-old from Portland who had never touched a club.

Looking like a hack: Dan McLaughlin putts in the rain at Broadmoor Golf Course in Portland, Oregon. Do these images look like the gear and putter a guy with "unlimited resources" would use?

On July 5th, 2011 Dan was 17 percent of the way through at 1700 hours, and the Blazer stopped by his blog to see how he was doing. Here are a couple highlights:

"Just a couple weeks ago I couldn’t miss from within 12o yards and was making crisp contact with pretty much every shot. But, then the golfing gods frowned and the hosel began leading the charge on too many occasions . . . "I’ve started hitting a bit too much grass in front of the ball, not a good habit to have, especially if you want to put some spin on the ball."

That's not exactly the words of a guy headed to the tour by his fall of 2016 target. In his latest post Dan talks about establishing a handicap playing from the "white tees" using only a 6-iron, 8-iron, PW, 56 degree, 52 degree and putter. Dan's instructor, Christopher Smith, was originally insulted by Dan's idea calling him "just another yahoo" but has since warmed up to it. He started Dan with putting and is slowly moving up the club length latter as the months go on. By the time he's half way to the tour, he may finally get to hit a driver.

Christopher's original feelings of insult seem like a more appropriate response from the avid golfer than the inspiring story The Golf Channel and others are now painting of The Dan Plan.

Follow Dan's quest for the card at

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Captures and Captions - Fumbling Buffoons

A panic stricken maintenance crew at the Atlanta Athletic Club fumble around trying to fix the damage caused by a mower less than 24hrs before the players hit the course for the PGA Championship.

One crew member couldn't help but take a break for a cell phone photo op.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Green Blazer's journal

Green Blazer journal, sometime in the future...

They other day began much the same as any other. I awoke, enjoyed a cup of my special greenblazer tea made from st. andrews elephant grass and afganhi sativa, and began practicing my short game by hitting barefoot out of a bunker made of burning hot coals. I was just about to break for my afternoon Iron Byron massage (a massage in which an iron byron machine fires balls at your muscles from point blank range) when I got a phone call on my special greenblazer phone, which is rare because only Natalie Gulbis, Alice Cooper and my butler have the number and they all know better than to call me when I'm practicing.

"Hello, Blazelair. Yes, I will hold for Mr. Nicklaus."

It was Jack Nicklaus, probably wanting to reminisce on the days when we used to have a regular foursome with Ted Koppel and Bruce Lee.

"Hey GB, remember that one time you tried to hit over that dog leg and ended up burning down an entire forest?"

I was right. God, Jack Nicklaus can be so annoying these days.

"Yeah I remember Jack. At least I saved everyone from the blaze, you and bruce lee just sat there laughing it up like you were members of a live studio audience."

"We were Greeny B, or have you already forgotten your ugly little foray into bad ‘60s television."

He was right. They were members of a live studio audience for that miserable silver age Green Blazer television show. Fucking Jack Nicklaus and his constant reminiscing.

"How did you get this number?"

"Former President George W. Bush gave it to me, he said you told him he could give it out in an emergency."

At that moment I remembered about the time I traded President Bush my special blazenumber in exchange for the greatest golf joke of all time. But I was certain he couldn't have remembered it, or could he? We were playing a special match at the Camp David course as a part of his request in his first executive order. This was early in the term when I still responded to executive orders, before he started calling me there every time he needed a laugh, which ended up averaging out to a trip every three minutes or so toward the end. Early in the match I realized that he only had the capacity to harbor one thought at a time, when he forgot my name after I told him the joke about the pope and Si Re Pek. Upon hearing this joke he doubled over onto his hands and knees on the tee box and laughed for about three hours, before demanding that I tell him another. To shut him up I told him what I thought was the greatest golf joke of all time, but that only made him ask for and another, and another, and another, and it was getting really embarrassing because he was still on his hands and knees and he kept calling me "masterful blazer," which is normal, but in between his laughing all you could really hear was "master-er." When I was all out of jokes he told me there was one I didn't know and that he could make Rich Beem tell it to me in exchange for my emergency Blazenumber. I was so surprised that Rich Beem could possibly know something about golf that I didn't that I gave him the number without a moment's hesitation. He had Beem promptly sent to Guantanomo and tortured until he eventually gave up the joke, which turned out to be the first joke I had told to the president to get that whole thing started. "You can only call that number in emergencies," I told him, and he responded "I'll be the decider of what constitutions an emergency. Now watch this drive."

"Fine, Jack, what's the emergency," I finally asked Jack Nicklaus after he had been on hold for like 45 minutes while I thought about that first time I went golfing with former President George W. Bush.

"I'm having a clone of my former self made to play in a scramble against Tiger Woods, Jaquline Gagne and Kim Jong Ill, and I need to you to make sure nobody tries to interfere with it at the match."

Another goddamn clone? Jack Nicklaus just can't seem to get over his former self. This was like the 74th clone he's had made of himself since Tiger won the two grand slams in a row and passed him up in major tournaments won.

"Why would somebody try to interfere with the match?" I asked, certain Nicklaus was just paranoid again.

"Let's just say there is, I don't have to tell you everything."

I was starting to get the feeling Nicklaus wasn't telling me everything.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

K.J. Choi shakes golf world with unprofessional antics

SATIRE - *Please read with an open mind as we love KJ just as much as everyone else. If you're somehow offended, we recommend you pick up an Onion once in a while.

While the momentum of the international golf scene continued its ascent to the forefront with South Korean born KJ Choi’s victory in the Players Championship Sunday, a dark cloud was cast over his performance with what golf analysts are claiming “shameless self-promotion” by Choi’s on-course behavior at the culmination of The Players Championship.

While in contention late on Sunday, Choi violated typical PGA Tour protocol by high fiving children, waving to boisterous individual supporters, and affectionately tipping his cap to galleries and fellow competitors. He followed up such unprofessional antics by warmly and affectionately embracing David Toms after besting him in a sudden-death playoff. Ken Venturi, a long time golf analyst whose racist undertones against Tiger Woods throughout the previous decade helped him achieve notoriety amongst “good ole boy” golf scum described it best with his following statements:

“To see a player behave in such a manner, touching women and children, smiling and making eye contact with the crowds, and uncharacteristically hugging David Toms after his victory, was completely disrespectful to American golf fans.”

A smug hug from Mr. K.J.: K.J. Choi embraces David Toms following his playoff win at the 2011 Players Championship Sunday. This was just one of many unprofessional late round antics that has the golf world up in arms.

The PGA tour agreed with Venturi, issuing huge fines for the nearly 300 high fives Choi eagerly offered to fans down the final four-hole stretch of the tournament. Tim Finchem, PGA tour commissioner, said the self-seeking personal touch Choi extended to his supporters was “embarrassing” and “shameful” behavior that indicates Choi’s egotistical and self-seeking nature. The Tour issued a prompt apology for the manner in which Choi attempted to separate himself from the frigid stiffness and corpse-like persona typically expected of PGA players in contention.

Additional ire was cast towards Choi after conducting his post victory interview in English. Fuzzy Zoeller scoffed at the “despicable motives” of Choi to draw attention to the blue-collar, salt-of-the-earth manner in which Choi diligently learned the language and culture of a nation in which he competes regularly.

Kim Jong Il, noted North Korean terrorist who is not even from the same country as the well-industrialized South Korea, summarized the thoughts on this controversy by issuing the following statement:

"I am glad that the North Korean people cannot claim ownership of this extremist. I would hate to think of the world ramifications of people thinking that Korean people are capable of acting in such respectful and congenial ways. I will work diligently to rebuild the Korean image in the future, and am more determined than ever to invade South Korea and force my destructive views upon such a confused society.”

Speak of the week - Friend zone

Next time you're playing match play and your opponent lags their putt up to 3-4 feet, instead of remaining silent or saying something like, "I got to make you putt it" tell them it's out of your Friend Zone. This zippy phrase can alleviate any awkwardness about making them putt what might be considered a gimme in some circles.

Awkwardness is also the number one cause for men falling into the friend zone with a woman they are pursuing, the zone a man never wants to find himself in. The zone where all his friends trash talk him for his weak, pointless pursuit to what will certainly be a disappointing finish.

In the Friend Zone: In match play, this putt would be considered part of the friend zone whereas a three footer against a known yipper might not be. This is the friend zone you want to be in.

In the Friend Zone: Ouch ... This is the friendship zone many lovable losers find themselves in but no man wants to be in. Women like to be in this zone though and almost all of them are convinced their male "best friend" for the past two years doesn't secretly want them.

You know you're a hack when ...

You forget to grab a scorecard so you write your 7s and 8s on the steering wheel of the golf car.

Thanks to P. Johnstonian for this submission. Send your "You know you're a hack when ..." and "You know the course is a dump when ..." ideas to