Sunday, November 2, 2008

Real news that could pass for satire ...














WEARING THE ORANGE: A drunk and disheveled John Daly actually showing more cleavage than this Hooters model in his Mug shot with the Forsythe County Sheriff

Drunken John Daly Jailed Following Hooters Incident

Golfer 'extremely intoxicated and
uncooperative' at N.C. restaurant


Winston-Salem Police were dispatched to a nearby Hooters restaurant early the morning of Sunday, Oct. 26, in response to a medical call. When officers arrived, golfer John Daly was unconscious and being treated by emergency personnel. According to police, Daly was "extremely intoxicated and uncooperative," and was asked to leave by several workers. 

After repeatedly refusing to be transported to the hospital, Daly was taken to Forsyth County Law Enforcement Detention Center where he would stay until he sobered up ... 24 hours later.

Daly is a two-time major winner with more than 15-year career on the PGA Tour. He has openly battled alcoholism for all of his career and even admits to winning mini-tour events while drunk prior to his breakout victory at the 1991 PGA Championship. 

JD has also has battled other forms of addiction, admitting to losing between 50 and 60 million dollars gambling. Daly's fourth wife, Sherrie Miller Daly, pleaded guilty to federal drug charges in 2004  and served a five-month prison term. Then in 2007, she allegedly tried to stab Daly with a steak knife following an argument at a restaurant in Memphis, Tennessee causing him to show up for his Friday afternoon tee time at the 2007 Stanford St. Jude Championship with noticeable scratches across his face. His last PGA Tour victory came at the 2004 Buick Invitational where he won in a playoff after hitting a long bunker shot that still frequents highlight reels.

The fact that his latest incident occurred at Hooters would leave most to believe that the incident involved groping a waitress, but lucky for John's already tattered reputation, aggravated sexual contact will not be the latest addition to the charges.

Although Daly's opportunities to play on the PGA Tour will be limited, he plans to utilize every opportunity to play on the European Tour in 2009.

No comments: