Saturday, February 23, 2008

Arizona State University is Tits

Arizona State University has a reputation of producing alumni that are striking in the chestle region. Take a moment to observe the images below:

The above live up to the university’s high standard, but haven’t received nearly the acclaim of ASU’s most famous pair of bodacious bombs. Those, off course, belong to Phil Mickelson. Mickelson has held the title of, "most massive man mammaries" since he grabbed it from Craig Perry in the mid nineties. It has even gone so far that some people now refer to man boobs as, “Philly Micks.” Given the legendary reputation of Mickelson’s mambas, it would seem that no one could challenge his reign, but his title is being tested by none other than Jeff Quinney, another product of ASU’s well stacked program. The 2000 US Amateur champ has a newly found jiggle in his step, and it has been doing wonders for his confidence. As we all remember, Mickelson’s jiggle didn’t become evident until a few years after he left Arizona State, so it is safe to assume Quinney is just coming into his prime. Mickelson’s new training program gives Quinney an even better opportunity to make 2008 the year. Congratulations to Arizona State for knowing what it takes to harvest a nice crop of melons.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Movie Monday - Hack Attack 1

Captured by the Blazer from 100 Most Outrageous TV Moments who captured it from America's Funniest Home Videos who received it from the hack.

Publish Post

Monday, February 11, 2008

Movie Monday - Hacktacular

This week at the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am, George Lopez fell short of what he referred to as the “Mexi Slam”, amateur victories in both the BHCC and the AT&T. After failing to realize his Mexi Slam dream, Lopez headed out of Monterey early to prepare for his Grammy speech while the rest of us watched one more day of amateur hacks. This brings us to our first clip where one of the biggest hacks around, Big Chris Berman, shows us a shot from his highlight reel.

Even the pros hack on a shot here and there. GB would like to thank Tom Pernice for his delivery of one of the biggest professional duffs to date.

Phil Mickelson is convincingly the world’s second best player, and as everyone saw, he did some hacking as well this week. For those of you who are like G Blaze’s ally, The Golf Sensei, and pay little attention to the world around them, here is breakdown of how it happened.

When Rory Sabbatini is hacking, he makes sure everyone knows by putting on a show. Danny Gans, The Los Angeles entertainer who gets paid to put on shows, has the clip of the week for fashioning this wonderful zing.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Satire Saturday - Sabbatini Hospitalized Following Thunderous Faldo Bitchslap, Doctors Make Shocking Discoveries

PGA pro Rory Sabbatini was hospitalized over the weekend following what was described by commentator Johnny Miller as "A colossal bitchslap."

The bitchslap was administered by PGA pro and Golf Channel commentator Nick Faldo after Sabbatini was "just acting like too much of a bitch for this old boy to handle," said Faldo.

The initial reason for the hospitalization was for whiplash and psychological counseling for the oft-emotional Sabbatini. "Sabbatini's muscles in his neck and shoulders were severely sprained, from the clavicle to the vertebrae," said one hospital orderly, who wishes to remain unnamed. "Plus he was really acting like a fag."

Upon further examination, however, doctors found dangerously high estrogen levels in the irate Sabbatini, similar to those of a female dog during a mating season. Doctors said the hormonal imbalance put him at a frightening risk of contracting Sabitchatimia, an extremely rare form of cancer.

Fortunately the always observant and competent staff at Mercy Hospital in San Diego identified the imbalance and were able to correct it in a matter of days using an advanced bio-identical hormone replacement therapy technique, similar to The Talgen Method of hormone replacement therapy mass marketed by Dr. Steven T. Talgen, an expert in the field of menopausal research for aging women. Doctors said the treatment should provide "less frequent episodes of whining and stomping" in the irritable golfer, and the cramping, water retention, and mood swings he experiences every month should start to diminish.

Before Sabbatini was fully recovered doctors made one more shocking but non life-threatening discovery in the PGA pro's groin region: A vagina.

Doctors said they expected Sabbatini to make a full recovery in time for the Northern Trust Open on Feb. 11.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Monday, February 4, 2008

Movie Monday - Tiger punks Poulter ... twice

After punking Poulter on the golf course during his come from behind victory at The Dubai Desert Classic, Tiger punks Ian again during a post round interview, a standout example of Tiger's perfect tact and timing when zinging other players verbally. It's obvious Poulter's claim of being misquoted holds no validity with Tiger.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Men in Black

Tiger Woods and JB Holmes donned some atypical apparel during their clutch performances this weekend. Tiger’s glasses, although somewhat badass, are reminiscent of over-glasses typically worn by slowly driving senior citizens. Tiger wore the glasses mostly for protection against the blowing sand, and removed them prior to hitting each shot.

JB Holmes is one of the only notable players you'll ever see wearing a black glove. After making Mickelson look like less of a man in the playoff at the FBR Open, Holmes said, “I don’t want to be some kind of fairy dinking it out there and prancing around in my white glove. I hit it long, and I wear a black glove even if after the round, it looks like someone shit on my hand.” Ok... JB really didn’t say any of that, but it would have been funny if he did.

With all the outfit coordination these days, it’s surprising the black glove isn’t more popular. But then again, Tiger doesn’t wear one, so it’s not that surprising after all.