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Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Hoff ya go...
Charlie Hoffman lost last week's FBR in a playoff against the wildly popular Ken boy Perry. Hoffman is known on tour as a fashionless nerd, who stands out in an era where many of the young studs (and Steve Elkington) dress like some str8, right-on, no-worries bros. Hoffman's lack of style is exemplified in the pic below:
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Adam Scott is pimping Kate Hudson, Lance is pissed
Every since The Green Blazer pierced the blogosphere and nabbed a regular byline in a real newspaper, we've been struggling to keep these articles poppin' every Sunday. We've made an agreement not to reproduce any printed articles onto our blog, but this week, we've got some action, so enjoy ...
Lance isn't actually pissed (reportedly), and Adam Scott is keeping it on the down low, but he is definitely pimping Kate Hudson.
Lance isn't actually pissed (reportedly), and Adam Scott is keeping it on the down low, but he is definitely pimping Kate Hudson.
Quote of the Week
"They're the Tiger Woods of pilots," passenger Matt Kane said of Sullenberger and co-pilot Jeff Skiles after an emergency water landing on the Hudson River.
Sullenberger made a split second decision to switch course and land the crashing plane down the Hudson river. Much like the unconscious split second decisions many golfers make to crash land their ball into a water hazard ... "Don't go right!"
Sullenberger made a split second decision to switch course and land the crashing plane down the Hudson river. Much like the unconscious split second decisions many golfers make to crash land their ball into a water hazard ... "Don't go right!"
No more no go on negotiating your club membership
Are you currently a member at a chincey, semi-private (otherwise known as public) golf course? Have you stopped bothering to call for a time on a weekday afternoon because you are 95 percent sure the course is filled with outing hacks?
If you answered yes to either of these questions, The Green Blazer has got some truth to drop on ya: Private clubs are suffering; now is the time to negotiate yourself a fatty deal! Follow the steps below and you'll never have to see an outing hack in a cutoff t-shirt again:
Which club is struggling the most: A sign is a sign
You should be able to gauge the clubs that are suffering by word of mouth and the level of desperation in the ads. A sign on the the fence that borders the busiest surrounding round is a good indication that they need new members. The Golf Club at Cape Cod in Falmouth, MA temporarily waived its $85,000 initiation to attract temporary members. That is not a move on an, "exclusive enclave," as they bill themselves, but would be a sick opportunity to sneak in.
Call the GM and make him aware of your interest
A GM at the brink of losing his job will cream his pants at prospective members contacting him. By calling and giving him your info, he may even contact you, sweetening the deal if you haven't reached out to him in a while.
Express discontent with one or more of the offerings
The club you are targeting likely already has a deal going, but they might be sugar coating it a bit, so ask questions and call them out on anything that sounds fishy. Maybe the club doesn't offer a cart membership, or maybe their minimums are too high. Whatever it is, make your contact at the club aware that hey ... That sucks. Sensing your discontent, the manager will often offer you something extra without you having to ask.
Do's and Don'ts in Negotiating your deal
Many GM's are up creek without a paddle, their job hanging on by a thread. Even so, most will not circumvent the clubs policy on the dues members pay. If you ask them for lower dues and no initiation, you'll likely end of gaining nothing and looking like a chince in the process. Initiation fees, however, can often be amortized over many years, so definitely tell your contact that you will not be able to pay the entire initiation the first year.
Guest Passes Glore
There is no end to the number of guest passes you can conjure out of a softy manager at a desperate club. If their deal offers 3, the minimum you should ask for is 9.
Start paying next year
If it is mid-season and you're ready, you should be able to work out a deal to get the rest of the current year for free. A great rule when negotiating ... If the incentive you are asking for doesn't show up on their books, they will be inclined to acquiesce to your request.
THERE'S NO GAMBLING AT BUSHWOOD!: Many country clubs are gambling away their exclusive reputation by offering screaming deals to new members. Some clubs are hurting so bad they can't even afford stick em' for their members grips.
If you answered yes to either of these questions, The Green Blazer has got some truth to drop on ya: Private clubs are suffering; now is the time to negotiate yourself a fatty deal! Follow the steps below and you'll never have to see an outing hack in a cutoff t-shirt again:
Which club is struggling the most: A sign is a sign
You should be able to gauge the clubs that are suffering by word of mouth and the level of desperation in the ads. A sign on the the fence that borders the busiest surrounding round is a good indication that they need new members. The Golf Club at Cape Cod in Falmouth, MA temporarily waived its $85,000 initiation to attract temporary members. That is not a move on an, "exclusive enclave," as they bill themselves, but would be a sick opportunity to sneak in.
Call the GM and make him aware of your interest
A GM at the brink of losing his job will cream his pants at prospective members contacting him. By calling and giving him your info, he may even contact you, sweetening the deal if you haven't reached out to him in a while.
Express discontent with one or more of the offerings
The club you are targeting likely already has a deal going, but they might be sugar coating it a bit, so ask questions and call them out on anything that sounds fishy. Maybe the club doesn't offer a cart membership, or maybe their minimums are too high. Whatever it is, make your contact at the club aware that hey ... That sucks. Sensing your discontent, the manager will often offer you something extra without you having to ask.
Do's and Don'ts in Negotiating your deal
Many GM's are up creek without a paddle, their job hanging on by a thread. Even so, most will not circumvent the clubs policy on the dues members pay. If you ask them for lower dues and no initiation, you'll likely end of gaining nothing and looking like a chince in the process. Initiation fees, however, can often be amortized over many years, so definitely tell your contact that you will not be able to pay the entire initiation the first year.
Guest Passes Glore
There is no end to the number of guest passes you can conjure out of a softy manager at a desperate club. If their deal offers 3, the minimum you should ask for is 9.
Start paying next year
If it is mid-season and you're ready, you should be able to work out a deal to get the rest of the current year for free. A great rule when negotiating ... If the incentive you are asking for doesn't show up on their books, they will be inclined to acquiesce to your request.
THERE'S NO GAMBLING AT BUSHWOOD!: Many country clubs are gambling away their exclusive reputation by offering screaming deals to new members. Some clubs are hurting so bad they can't even afford stick em' for their members grips.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Geese are the shits
BABY SHITS: The only thing worse than goose shit on the greens is gosling shit on the greens"Yo G Blaze... You're out"
"Hang on phellas ... let me just use my putter to fling the goose shit out of my line."
It's a hot, sweaty day. You're with some hack acquaintances that have been pressuring you to, "go golfing sometime dude," for over a year now. Finally after offering to pay for your round, you oblige. Four holes into your round you've chopped your way to two-over, well on your way to an 81 (although the guys you're playing with are so impressed they're practically stroking you off).
It's one thing to play like shit, but at this course you have to walk on it too. What better than some goose shit to make a crappy round even more miserable. It's bad enough that the geese infest the ponds, but they also invest the fairways, feeding on the fertilized grass and hissing at you as you walk by. By the end of the round, the greenish colored shit has worked its way into the crevices of your cleats that even the most violent after round clap won't vanquish. Some of the shit has been on the greens for days and dried out leaving a permanent shit stain. Most of the dung, however, is fresh and crumbles as you try to move it often finding its way into the sight line of your $250 Scotty Cameron.
I once heard a tale that if you run a dog through a course, it will chase the geese out and they will never return. This of course is not true. It will make a flock move to a pond temporary until the coast is clear. Then they will return to the green to drop a long awaited freshy. This is why the Green Blazer Corps is establishing an organization to stop the spread of goose shit. To receive a complementary membership to GAGS (golfers against goose shit), post a comment below and help us put an end to this problem ... before it's too late.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Stina Stern-minded on advice
Columnist detached from range hack mentality
In this month's Golf Digest, Stina Sternberg tells women golfers to "say no to advice," when approached by swing tip dispensing range hack. It seemed she was making a good point until she states that the babbling range hack would only approach women and would never offer advice to any men. People who have spent enough time on a public practice facility know this is not true.
Range hacks, the talkative ones, will give advice to anyone. They will usually gravitate towards the person who seems most accepting of the advice, but will take what they can get when they can get it. If you've been approached by a know-it-all range hack, you can be guaranteed you weren't his first, probably not even his first of the day.
If you are an obvious beginner, the range hack will take charge of the conversation confidently telling you exactly what you're doing wrong and how to fix it. He will give you the latest drill from, ironically, Golf Digest, and may even show you how it's done. The better you are, the more gingerly he will tread. He will try to initiate an open forum discussing a swing topic, surely tell you what Pelz and Butch said on the matter, and rarely demonstrate it himself.
Range hacks just love to talk about golf ... to anyone man or women. It's safe to say Stina is far removed from the chipping green chop mentality, yet most can agree ... That's a good thing.
The Blazer would be interested in hearing the readers' opinions on the motives behind advice giving on the range, so blaze a comment bros ... >
In this month's Golf Digest, Stina Sternberg tells women golfers to "say no to advice," when approached by swing tip dispensing range hack. It seemed she was making a good point until she states that the babbling range hack would only approach women and would never offer advice to any men. People who have spent enough time on a public practice facility know this is not true.
Range hacks, the talkative ones, will give advice to anyone. They will usually gravitate towards the person who seems most accepting of the advice, but will take what they can get when they can get it. If you've been approached by a know-it-all range hack, you can be guaranteed you weren't his first, probably not even his first of the day.
If you are an obvious beginner, the range hack will take charge of the conversation confidently telling you exactly what you're doing wrong and how to fix it. He will give you the latest drill from, ironically, Golf Digest, and may even show you how it's done. The better you are, the more gingerly he will tread. He will try to initiate an open forum discussing a swing topic, surely tell you what Pelz and Butch said on the matter, and rarely demonstrate it himself.
Range hacks just love to talk about golf ... to anyone man or women. It's safe to say Stina is far removed from the chipping green chop mentality, yet most can agree ... That's a good thing.
The Blazer would be interested in hearing the readers' opinions on the motives behind advice giving on the range, so blaze a comment bros ... >
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
GREEN BLAZER GOLF SPECIAL REPORT: Piercing the blogosphere
Months ago, The Green Blazer promised to deliver blog posts every Sunday. That promise was broken a few weeks ago; for that please accept my formal apology.
My absence was, however, not due to lazin and blazin in a dazy haze. The Green Blazer's novel was put on hold following the announcement of a restructuring at Random House Publishing, the publisher backing The Green Blazer origin novel. Distraught and out of sorts, GB set out on a mission. Armed with only golf clubs and a portfolio (not to mention some other roadie essentials), The Blazer scoured the country intending to find a new publisher. The Blazer failed that mission, but the long roadie wasn't all for not. The Green Blazer is proud to announce he is now writing a weekly column in The Mountaineer, a Colorado based daily newspaper. The first piece was published on Tuesday. Click on the image to enlarge:
My absence was, however, not due to lazin and blazin in a dazy haze. The Green Blazer's novel was put on hold following the announcement of a restructuring at Random House Publishing, the publisher backing The Green Blazer origin novel. Distraught and out of sorts, GB set out on a mission. Armed with only golf clubs and a portfolio (not to mention some other roadie essentials), The Blazer scoured the country intending to find a new publisher. The Blazer failed that mission, but the long roadie wasn't all for not. The Green Blazer is proud to announce he is now writing a weekly column in The Mountaineer, a Colorado based daily newspaper. The first piece was published on Tuesday. Click on the image to enlarge:
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tiger, Buick a refreshing divorce
Just as Tiger was starting to convince us that we need a new Buick, the pair decides to separate in a split that was both "mutual and amicable," as described by a spokesman for GM. The partnership began in 2000 with Tiger starring in numerous Buick commercials and donning the Buick logo on his bag. And as an added bonus, Tiger also won many Buick-sponsored golf tournaments. But let's be honest, the Tiger and Buick were always an odd couple.
Tiger represents golf's new generation. Although he is a far cry from the swashbuckling, collar-popping likes of Camilo Villegas and Anthony Kim, Tiger is the undisputed leader in golf's movement towards shedding its grandpa's game reputation. When Buick brought Tiger on 9 years ago, they were hoping to follow in golf's lead and rid themselves of their own geriatric reputation.
But Tiger's effect on Buick's image wasn't as profound as his effect on golf's image, and GM did nothing to give Tiger a helping hand. Not only did they keep the product line, they further depress their own brand with dismal vehicle names like Lucerne and Enclave. They obviously need more than Tiger's influence to attract new customers,as the company's demographic has hardly changed since 2000. Buick is still best represented by the 60-plus, stuffed-shirt country club man who can be found naked in the locker rooms of Anygreen CC, USA.
GM stands to save $7 million per year by severing ties with Tiger. GM also stands to get a large portion of the $25 billion purposed for the U.S. auto industry bailout plan, assuming the big three will be able to convince congress they need the loans some time in the next few days. The U.S. Treasury, however, will not be bailing Tiger out for the $7 million per year he's losing from GM. In the next few months, bidding wars will likely ensue to see who will be the next company emblem to rest on the shoulder of Steve Williams, the caddie who rests on the shoulder of Tiger. Maybe Nike will snatch it up, or maybe it will be a new branding altogether.
For now, check the time on your Tag Heuer watch, keep the Gatorade flowing, give your scruff a Mach 3 treatment and buy a Buick. GM clearly needs the money more than Tiger.
Tiger represents golf's new generation. Although he is a far cry from the swashbuckling, collar-popping likes of Camilo Villegas and Anthony Kim, Tiger is the undisputed leader in golf's movement towards shedding its grandpa's game reputation. When Buick brought Tiger on 9 years ago, they were hoping to follow in golf's lead and rid themselves of their own geriatric reputation.
But Tiger's effect on Buick's image wasn't as profound as his effect on golf's image, and GM did nothing to give Tiger a helping hand. Not only did they keep the product line, they further depress their own brand with dismal vehicle names like Lucerne and Enclave. They obviously need more than Tiger's influence to attract new customers,as the company's demographic has hardly changed since 2000. Buick is still best represented by the 60-plus, stuffed-shirt country club man who can be found naked in the locker rooms of Anygreen CC, USA.
GM stands to save $7 million per year by severing ties with Tiger. GM also stands to get a large portion of the $25 billion purposed for the U.S. auto industry bailout plan, assuming the big three will be able to convince congress they need the loans some time in the next few days. The U.S. Treasury, however, will not be bailing Tiger out for the $7 million per year he's losing from GM. In the next few months, bidding wars will likely ensue to see who will be the next company emblem to rest on the shoulder of Steve Williams, the caddie who rests on the shoulder of Tiger. Maybe Nike will snatch it up, or maybe it will be a new branding altogether.
For now, check the time on your Tag Heuer watch, keep the Gatorade flowing, give your scruff a Mach 3 treatment and buy a Buick. GM clearly needs the money more than Tiger.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Captures and Captions - Tommy Gainey
Since its inception in 1962, Wal-mart's slogan has never changed. The phrase, Everyday Low Prices was to follow the aggressive Wal-Mart logo everywhere it was printed. That was until a short time ago when Wal-Mart sacrificed their current logo for something a little more green. A simple flower now accompanies an anything but bold font choice. And the new slogan: Save Money, Live Better is also a greener. But the company's passion to provide the consumer with the lowest prices possible and drive surrounding businesses out of town hasn't changed.
At this weeks Children's Miracle Network Classic presented by Wal-mart, many players were hoping to stay (or get) in the top 125, so that next year their profit potential wasn't cut in half like a mom and pop shop within a 30 mile radius of a Super Wal-Mart. Nothing short of a win would secure full exemption for Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey. A 30 on the back nine Sunday left him just one shot back of Davis Love III who captured his 20th win and a lifetime exemption on the PGA Tour.
BIG BREAK 2 PALS: Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey and caddie Don "Pull the Tape Tight" Donatello celebrate Gainey's 72 hole birdie.
At this weeks Children's Miracle Network Classic presented by Wal-mart, many players were hoping to stay (or get) in the top 125, so that next year their profit potential wasn't cut in half like a mom and pop shop within a 30 mile radius of a Super Wal-Mart. Nothing short of a win would secure full exemption for Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey. A 30 on the back nine Sunday left him just one shot back of Davis Love III who captured his 20th win and a lifetime exemption on the PGA Tour.
BIG BREAK 2 PALS: Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey and caddie Don "Pull the Tape Tight" Donatello celebrate Gainey's 72 hole birdie.
Captions and Captures - Ricky Barnes
MAKING A COMEBACK: Ricky Barnes finished 25th on the Nationwide Tour money list and will be playing on the PGA Tour in 09'. He picked up a contract with Zubaz in the process.
Product Review - Castle Bay Iron Covers
A hack is not complete without a fine set of Castle Bay iron covers. These covers are made of the finest molded rubber, and feature tight squeeze openings to leave you struggling and annoyed all round long. The top of the line covers feature a string to keep you from losing them, but if you do, just dig through the lost and found of any 9 hole muni to get a replacement. Castle Bay offers a wide variety of colors including black, blue, red, and of course ... green.
PERFECT UP-SELL: Attention Salesman: Castle Bay iron covers is the great addition to any 21 piece RAM set.
PERFECT UP-SELL: Attention Salesman: Castle Bay iron covers is the great addition to any 21 piece RAM set.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Real news that could pass for satire ...
WEARING THE ORANGE: A drunk and disheveled John Daly actually showing more cleavage than this Hooters model in his Mug shot with the Forsythe County Sheriff
Drunken John Daly Jailed Following Hooters Incident
uncooperative' at N.C. restaurant
Winston-Salem Police were dispatched to a nearby Hooters restaurant early the morning of Sunday, Oct. 26, in response to a medical call. When officers arrived, golfer John Daly was unconscious and being treated by emergency personnel. According to police, Daly was "extremely intoxicated and uncooperative," and was asked to leave by several workers.
After repeatedly refusing to be transported to the hospital, Daly was taken to Forsyth County Law Enforcement Detention Center where he would stay until he sobered up ... 24 hours later.
Daly is a two-time major winner with more than 15-year career on the PGA Tour. He has openly battled alcoholism for all of his career and even admits to winning mini-tour events while drunk prior to his breakout victory at the 1991 PGA Championship.
JD has also has battled other forms of addiction, admitting to losing between 50 and 60 million dollars gambling. Daly's fourth wife, Sherrie Miller Daly, pleaded guilty to federal drug charges in 2004 and served a five-month prison term. Then in 2007, she allegedly tried to stab Daly with a steak knife following an argument at a restaurant in Memphis, Tennessee causing him to show up for his Friday afternoon tee time at the 2007 Stanford St. Jude Championship with noticeable scratches across his face. His last PGA Tour victory came at the 2004 Buick Invitational where he won in a playoff after hitting a long bunker shot that still frequents highlight reels.
The fact that his latest incident occurred at Hooters would leave most to believe that the incident involved groping a waitress, but lucky for John's already tattered reputation, aggravated sexual contact will not be the latest addition to the charges.
Although Daly's opportunities to play on the PGA Tour will be limited, he plans to utilize every opportunity to play on the European Tour in 2009.
The fact that his latest incident occurred at Hooters would leave most to believe that the incident involved groping a waitress, but lucky for John's already tattered reputation, aggravated sexual contact will not be the latest addition to the charges.
Although Daly's opportunities to play on the PGA Tour will be limited, he plans to utilize every opportunity to play on the European Tour in 2009.
Golfer/Celebrity Look-alikes 9
The Green Blazer is not the first to point out the similarities in the faces of Zack Johnson and Joaquin Phoenix; however, in light Joaquin's retirement news, G Blaze thought this would be a good time for Golfer/Celebrity Look-alikes 9
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