DBrush ... Helping cheaters take an inch

Historically pocket brushes for golf lived true to their name, they filled your pocket. DBrush changed that when they came up with a brush the size of a quarter, but along with it they gave the inchers a handy new tool for cheating.

Back in 2007, The Green Blazer wrote a piece on the now played-out MySpace, my only blogging outlet at the time, about a subject that most people probably think about but few talk about: Inching. A player inches when he replaces his ball slightly closer to the hole than he marked it.


THE WEDGE SHAPE OF THE DBRUSH ENABLES INCHERS TO MARK THEIR BALL EVEN DEEPER AND STILL REPLACE IT SHALLOW



Most inchers put the mark as tightly as possible behind the ball and then replace it with a slight gap between the mark and the ball. If an incher doubles his or her DBrush as a mark, the wedge shape has the cheater inching with ease. Off the course, an inching man is probably more likely to invest in products like natural male enhancement pills and the penis pump than a non-incher.

Probably the most famous case of inching involved Scotsman Lindsay Smith who had his membership suspended from the prestigious Nairn Golf Club after being branded a cheat. Wind of the incident blew into the Green Blazer's cipher when Smith, a one handicap senior bank official, escalated the matter all the way to the high courts of Scotland, and the story began tracking on the internet news sites.

Here's how John Robertson of the Scotsman Newspaper described the incident that got Smith removed: "On the tenth green, Mr. Scott told Mr. Smith he had marked his ball wrongly by placing the marker in front, rather than behind the ball, so that when he replaced the ball it had been closer to the hole than when he lifted it. He alleged that the same thing had happened at the seventh hole. Mr Smith denied the accusations."

Who knows, there may have been some club politics involved the suspension. Maybe Smith was disliked by some members of the board, or maybe he was liked too well by their wives. The Scotsman also mentioned, however, that "There had been similar allegations made against him twice in the past." So the club suspended him, and branded the message that Nairn will not be regarded as a place that takes fondly to those that compromise the rules set forth by the R&A. The Court of Session in Edinburgh eventually found nothing wrong with the way the golf club reacted, and the ruling for this extreme case of inching made The Green Blazer as excited as a Scotsman with a plaid tumbler full of Macallan 25.

Does inching really make a difference? The wife of a male incher might tell you indeed it does. And a 35 inch putt is easier to knock-in than a 36 inch putt, assuming the conditions are the same.

The Green Blazer would like to urge everyone to give future opponents a stern warning the next time you witness them inching. In a friendly game, give your partner a hard time about an inching incident. Tell him or her Timberland boots might make a person taller but you'd look ridiculous wearing them at a wedding. Then refer them to the amazon.com's Swedish vacuum enhancer pistol.

Survey: Giving up in playoff game worse than cheating on wife

Amid Tiger Woods' torrent of torrid love affairs hitting the main stream, he is still America's favorite athlete -- he'll just have to share that spot with Kobe Bryant. LeBron James fell from 3rd to 6th.

Woods had held the position alone since 2006, but the Los Angeles Lakers guard moved up from fourth last year to grab a share of the top spot, Harris Interactive said Tuesday.

If anal sex counts, Woods isn't the only one in that top spot that has an adulterous past (or present). Bryant also has a splitting history with cheating on his wife, and Bryant's isolated incident may have been worse because the 19-year-old said she told him to stop.

LeBron dropped significantly on men's side in the company’s survey of 2,227 people that was conducted online from June 14-21, before he left Cleveland to sign with Miami.

Stinky Cinky not in "Big Three"

Although over 1.2 million Twitter followers and a British Open is impressive, Stewart Cink should not be the other guy next to Tiger and Phil in PGATour.com's "The Big Three."

















sidenote: David Letterman's Top Ten surprising facts about Stewart Cink both made The Blazer laugh and grow slightly fonder of Stewart Cink.

Link housekeeping

Bloggers need to cut the fat on links
G-Blaze has had enough ... Bloggers need to join together and commit to scrutinizing their links more routinely. If the posters aren't posting, then so goes their link.

It seems everyone is too scared of offending another blogger by taking down a pointless link or they just don't check their links often enough -- they just plop them up and forget it.

The requirement for link removal should be subjective, analyzed on a case by case basis. As we know, there exists a few different types of blogging personalities.

There's the Streaky motivation blogger, who has high quality posts, but randomly a couple times a month. The Green Blazer is an SMB, and so is my man Bob Smiley at Fore Right.

Many SMBs strive to be an Everyday blogger, but often never make it because they either don't want to sacrifice quality for quantity or just never quite commit. Committing is difficult especially if no one reads your posts as is the case with many blogs (if a blogger makes a post and nobody reads it, was it ever really a post?). Tony at Hooked on Golf Blog is an everyday blogger, so is The Golf Girl, and so are some of the humps at Yahoo, who make pointless posts with generic titles like, "Woods looks uncertain entering British Open."

Many SMBs are worthy of linkage, just so long as they don't become a Gave up blogger. These are the type that should be removed from links. If you're blog goes months without an update and your stuff wasn't that ground breaking to begin with, it's safe to say you've given up on it. If you want to get your link back you should have to earn it be posting.

While recently visiting one of the golf blogs mentioned above, The Golf Girl's Diary (a golf blog that actually has a strong following) I noticed an extensive list of "Woman blog about golf" links.






















Of the 17 links, 2 were broken, three hadn't had a single 2010 post and two hadn't posted in several months. One this short list, seven of the 17 should probably be cut, which would of course increase the value of the posting bloggers.

G-Blaze is using The Golf Girl as an example (I may have called out someone else if she hadn't removed her link to The Green Blazin' blog), but there exists unworthy links in close to every extensive link list out there.

What are you waiting for bloggers? Quit being scared to offend a non-poster. It's time to clean house.

Man searches for ways to avoid being annoying walker

Exploring alternatives to riding
Have you ever been annoyed by four walkers enjoying the day while you're trying to play a fast round of golf? If you haven't you're probably either an annoying walker yourself or you welcome slow play because you like to spend as much time as possible on the course as your nagging wife only permits you to play nine holes per week.

With country club membership dues at record lows, broke ass golfers everywhere finally get a chance to be a member at a private club. Clubs that once had 10 year waiting lists and 20k down strokes just to get in the door are now one step away from implementing a Little Caesars style panhandle marketing campaign.

This following is the situation a Green Blazer Corps member by the name of Stefan Core found himself in:

He was ready to pull the trigger on a steal of a membership at 5k/yr but before signing on the dotted line he was informed that golf cars are not included. He would basically be forced into dropping $20 every time he wanted to play. After confirming that the club would not allow him to use and store his own golf car on premises, Stefan began his search for alternatives.

His first thought was to look into a golf specific mall cop style Segway. He found exactly what he had in mind, the Segway x2 Golf. For a one time fee of $4300 used his problems could be solved. He was ready to make the purchase, but decided he better run it by the country club first. The old codgers on the board quickly shot him down saying it qualified as a golf car under the club's definition.

If only he could create a vehicle that looked like a pull cart only with a kickstand that would support his weight. He decided to check the ultimate source for amateur engineers looking to display their talents ... Youtube.

He quickly found a vehicle called the ParScooter. It's nothing more than a nancyboy scooter with an electric motor and a pull cart attachment:



But that wasn't all he found. In the process, he stumbled upon a golf car that has nothing to do with serving his needs, but was funny to watch immediately after watching the ParScooter:



In the end, Stefan decided to get the membership and buy a Bat Caddy X3R. Now not only is he an annoying walker, he's an annoying walker with an even more annoying electric push cart.

Not "icy", just Tiger

"Tiger growls at media"
"Tetchy Tiger dodges personal questions"
"Woods turns icy at personal questions"
"Woods loses cool over questions"

How can you lose your cool and be icy? Above are just a few of the headlines following Tiger Woods press conference in Ireland.

Finding a video of the conference proved to be a difficult task, but after trying many sources, ol' faithful youtube had at least part of the Tiger Woods press conference that made "icy" Tuesday's buzz word (hint -- to find the latest videos on youtube, switch your search options to sort by "date uploaded").

Based on the 55 second clip, G-Blaze thinks Tiger was rather timid, yet 55 seconds isn't very long. One word answers are nothing new to the world No. 1, a man who is probably more annoyed with the media vultures that anyone on the planet. He was giving one word answers to questions before he got caught pounding strange*, and he will certainly do so now.



In the end, Tiger haters will continue to hate and the people that like him will continue to defend him. As long as he remains the best player in the game, he'll always be golf's top story.

*strange is a term married men use to describe a woman they've slept with other than their wife.

Adidas: If golfers could play barefoot, they would

In the midst of pimping their new shoe line, an exec (more likely a hired actor) for Adidas makes the claim, "If golfers could play golf barefoot, they would." The truth is that they can, but the don't.

The Blazer's initial inclination was to zing Adidas for putting this line in their commercial, but instead decided to throttle back and research the subject.

I tried a number of combinations on Google: golf + barefoot; golf + barefoot + pga tour; "barefoot golfers"; "barefoot professional golfers." None seemed to give me the comprehensive piece I was looking for.

There was a number of sites talking about the merits of playing barefoot most talking about the extra feel that they had. But, these comments were likely from high handicap hacks who have no feel with or without shoes.

The best source found was a thread on golfwrx.com. Much of the commentary related around pesticides and the negative effect barefoot golfing could cause to your body. One commenter even told a partially related story about a player that used to put his balls in his mouth (clean his golf ball by putting it in his mouth):

Golfwrx member Artemicion:
"Apparently there's a documented case of a guy who liked to clean his golf balls by putting them in his mouth while others were putting. After a while he fell ill and was eventually hospitalized and diagnosed with two types of hepatitis, of which one was an unknown type. After an extended stay he was fully cured, returned to the golf course and his habit of gobbling golf balls, and after a while fell ill again with the same disease. Doctors hypothesized the ingestion of pesticides, fertilizer and other stuff found on greens might be the cause, and urged the man to give up his habit. Apparently he's been healthy since."

But certainly the funniest comment was, "Two words, Goose Dookie!" (click here for The Green Blazer's -- "Geese are the shits" piece)

The only pro referenced in the thread was Sam Snead, who was said to play and practice barefoot. He even played a few holes barefoot at Augusta one year according to some hump on wrx.

If golfing barefoot was really something professionals believed would improve their game and pesticides were the only thing keeping them in shoes, it is certain that some sort of extra sensitivity latex foot condom would have been designed. In fact, it would probably be designed by Callaway since they never miss an opportunity to put their name on some crappy product idea.



COMING SOON ... THE CALLAWAY TUXEDO FOOT CONDOM (ALSO AVAILABLE IN MAGNUM)

Did The King sell out to sweetness?

Arizona responsible for Arnold Palmer's ruin

Bartender: What can I get you Arnie?

Arnold Palmer: "Iced tea ... But why don't you sweeten it up a bit with some lemonade this time. Just go ahead and make it 50-50, lemonade and iced tea."

Bar patron: "Hmmm ... That's sounds refreshing. I'll have what Arnie is having."

Bartender: "So two ... umm ... Arnold Palmers coming right up."

The scenario above outlines an account of how the Arnold Palmer drink was created. You take an unsweetened drink, combine it with something sweet (in this case lemonade) and you come out with a tasty yet still thirst quenching drink.

Those days are long gone.

When most people think of an Arnold Palmer now, they picture a plastic bottle -- the upper half resembling a golf ball and the lower half containing Arnie's ugly mug. That product is different entirely. It's two sweet drinks combined, the end product having little to do with the original drink idea of sweetening a sugarless drink.

With the nation buzzed on high fructose corn syrup, Arizona wasn't about to keep the drink under the parameter in which it was created. What they did instead is the drink equivalent of deep frying a piece of celery in chocolate sauce before spreading it with peanut butter.

Arizona simply took their own high fructose tea recipe and combined it with their high fructose lemonade recipe destroying the hydration benefits by weighing the entire drink down with sugar.

So was Arnie involved in Arizona's discussion of how the drink with be created? Was he told that they would need to compromise his ingenuity to appeal to the boneheaded masses? Few know for sure, but if the question was posed to Arnie, he would probably say ... "What the hell is this idiot talking about."

Heavy Putter stingy with butt plugs

Attempting to turn a Cameron into a Heavy Putter
Heavy Putter made a name for itself in the golf equipment industry by doing something that no other company has done before -- making putters with very high head weights and counteracting the head weight with a heavy metal butt plug.

Experienced butt plug users know that the plug better fit just right or it could get messy.

Recently a member of the Green Blazer Corps, Rob Digital, decided he no longer liked his Scotty Cameron Kombi long putter, so he chopped it down to 33 inches and started using it as a regular putter. But, there was a problem: the head weight was so high (500 grams) that he felt like he was swinging a noodle with a meat ball at the end of it. Enter the butt plug.








Heavy Putter inserts a 250 gram butt plug into all of their putters to increase the putter's total weight and move the balance point up. Upon doing some research, Rob Digital decided to see if any company besides Heavy Putter was making butt plugs. He found numerous butt plugs online, some double bubble, some triple ripple and some inflatable vibrating, but the closest thing he could find that would work is a GolfSmith universal butt plug.

After even more research, he found that even if the universal butt plug was filled with tungsten, it would weigh just 70 grams, 180 grams less than Heavy Putter's butt plug. Hmmm ... What does a person do when they can't seem to find a butt plug that fits their needs?

Rob called Heavy Putter and told then he ordered a Heavy Putter head on Ebay, and would like to purchase one of their custom butt plugs. Heavy Putter quickly replied that although they would fix one of their putters that had a broken shaft, they do not sell their butt plugs to anybody, even if a vendor tries to order one.

So Rob decided to take matters into his own hands. After digging around his garage, he found a rusty solid steel rod that looked like it would fit in his butt. He weighed the rod and found that it conveniently weighed exactly 250 grams. He jammed the steel rod in his butt as far as it would without doing damage; he said it felt great when the rod made it all the way in. Rob threw on a new grip on and he now has his very own Scotty Cameron Heavy Putter knock-off.

The moral of the story: Finding the right butt plug for you can be a difficult task, but if you open your mind and think outside the box, you may find the perfect butt plug in a place you wouldn't expect.

You know it's a dump driving range when ...

They charge you to putt ...








Thanks to Jasper Keaton for sending this over

Out of his range

Jerry Rice makes embarrassing gaffe
Since the golfer is responsible for the caddie he chooses, G-Blaze is gonna go ahead and call this blunder embarrassing rather than humiliating ...

Adding insult to injury Jerry Rice disqualified himself from the Nationwide Tour event he took last in with rounds of 92-82 by using a laser range finder during the second round. The fact that Rice didn't know that this was illegal should completely blow the mind of every competitive golfer out there. Another question is that if Rice and his caddie thought this was legal, why weren't they using it on every shot that week? You mean they were eyeballing yardage when they thought they could gun it?

Rice admitted after the round that he isn't good enough for this type of competition and will not be playing any Nationwide Tour events in the future.

There is one bright spot in what had to go down as one of Jerry Rice's worst weeks ever ... At least he wasn't using a SkyCaddie.

Tiger Woods' fat-mouthed neighbor launches profiteering website

Fellow Isleworth resident claims to give untold story of world No. 1

It took him a hot minute but fellow Isleworth resident to Tiger Woods, Jerome (Jay) Adams is the latest profiteer trying to gain off the world No. 1 golfer's fall from grace.

James recently launched a pay-per-view website which he claims will provide stories of Tiger Woods never heard until now. James claims in a preview video on the site that he will give an “eyewitness account” of the Woods car accident scene on Nov. 27 even though it was Adams' brother Jarius that provided details to police the night of the car accident.

Jerome James goes on to claim in the same video on his new pay-per-view website that now his family wants “to tell exactly what happened that night.”

The only way this hump could know exactly what happened is if he was peeping in the windows the billionaire golfer's home that night. If James really wanted the story out then he wouldn't be be charging $4 for the privilege of hearing it. This is simply the latest in the many money-making ploys targeting Tiger Woods.

James, who admittedly is disdainful towards Woods, makes claim about Woods and his treatment of wife Elin Nordegren that James likely completely blew out of proportion. In the first PPV clip on the site, sportsbybrooks.com reports that Adams says he once saw Tiger push Elin to hurry her up when Tiger was eager to leave. Adams says he witnessed Woods grabbing one of Elin’s arms and, “he shoves her. … I was stunned by what I saw.”

There is no evidence behind James' claims, but alas he will release another video that he says will focus on the Thanksgiving accident scene.



Further proof that he would use his unique position to exacerbate stories for a few thousand dollars, Jay-bone even came up with a fresh, novel-like title for his m.m.o. -- "Behind the Gates, The Untold Story (Until Now!) of Tiger Woods."

note -- In unpromotional spirit, The Green Blazer will not be including a link to James' website

Being Badds is good unless he's "stacked"

A year removed from Aaron Baddeley quitting the stack and tilt golf swing, the "I'm stacked" commercial continues to buzz like a knat in Golf Channel viewers' ears worse than the sound of Michael Breeds' voice.

Apparently Badds stacked off all his chips in his relationship with the pros behind the video series, "The Stack and Tilt Golf Swing" and they just continue to run it regardless of Badds is stacked or not.

It's worth mentioning that there is a direct correlation between Aaron Baddeley adopting the stack and tilt swing method and his plummet in the world rankings.

For The Green Blazer's detailed description of the stack and tilt golf swing, click here.

He's not stacked ... But the commercial still is.

Those bars on the side of the screen indicate that The Stack and Tilt commercial is not HD compatible.

Tiger Woods pissed ... And the Blazer loves it!

This is what everyone will be freaking out about later today. G-Blaze loves it when Tiger gets pissed and loves it even more when he's fist pumping for victory. When I heard he was going to tone down his emotions I thought, "Shit this sucks ... Tiger is not going to get pissed anymore; that's a bunch of bullshit."

People make such a big deal about his temper, but we at The Green Blazer Corps love it. "Oh ... the children," they say. "Oh ... he's not being respectful of the game." That's a bunch of hog wash. If anybody is really that offended by his outbursts, they're probably a complete pussy.

Here's Tiger with a perfectly normal response for an athlete that just made an error:

Tiger hater makes funny at Augusta

G-Blaze grabbed this pic from sportsbybrooks.com -- the authority in sports gossip. If only Tiger could hit is high and long enough to bring that plane down in a barrage of golf balls.