You know you're a hack when ...

You ask the question, "How do I backspin it?"

On the occasion that the Blazer gets paired up with a hack, the hack will invariably ask how to put backspin on the ball.

After years of hackatural selection, this question has become an automatic response of a hack seeing a playing partner's ball check up after landing on a green.

The Green Blazer's explanation of backspin took years to perfect, but now we have it nailed down perfectly and condensed it into a simple three part answer.

1. Try not sucking -- When you suck, spinning a ball becomes increasingly difficult unless in the form of a bionic slice.

2. Don't use Pinnacle Gold -- Even though the hack, "likes the yellow ones" the rock hard cover of a Pinnacle or Top Flite XL will not produce much spin. (note: The Blazer is not advising hacks to go out and spend their hard earned wages on a $50 box a golf balls. Due to a horrible motion, hacks likely won't get any more juice from a Pro V1 than from their current choice of ball).

3. Make solid contact -- Putting backspin on a ball when you're chucking, topping, or toe shanking every shot is a difficult task.
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This three part answer will quickly silence most hacks. Granted, G Blaze could do like most golfers and pad his own ego by giving the hack a detailed explanation of shaft lean at address and how to strike it on a descending blow, but even if the hack can decipher the information, he certainly won't be able to apply it.

Until next time, this has been another edition of "You know you're a hack when ..." Feel free to search the archives if you're interested in reading previous editions of this recurring segment.

If the hacks didn't play them, who would?