You know the course is a dump when ...

They charge more to play the simulator than the actual golf course on golfnow.com











Thanks to Green Blazer Corps member Pjohnstonian for submitting this picture
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Column from Vail Mountaineer - 5.3.09

This article ran awhile back, but Daly is still dressing like a flaming Euro, so it's relevant.

Click on image to enlarge (article and time line are separate images)

New hybrid golfing sensation ... Rory Maccatini

The Golf Channel asked today, "Which Rory will win the Byron Nelson Classic tomorrow ... Sabbatini or Mcilroy?"
Rumor has it, the two combined to make a new golf superstar who will take down the Nelson will ease ... Say hello to Rory Maccatini

Tom Kite sexing up photo collage

The Blazer had a nice laugh upon seeing the photo collection pgatour.com used for its piece titled, "Texas Wedges." This image shows all the winners of the Byron Nelson Classic that are from the Lone Star state. All the images show the golfer in a nice, classic finish position ... Except one.

For Tom Kite, they chose the googly eyed down syndrome looking pic. This shot is evidence why in his heyday, Kite was known as golf's foremost sex symbol.

Play on player Stenson

You can be guaranteed The Golf Channel will be stroking Henrik Stenson off all this week following that bogey free 66 to win the Players. So as much as The Green Blazer thinks Stenson is a badass, he will do the opposite of the sycophantic suck-ups at Golf Channel show this video of Stenson:

You know you're a hack when ...

You ask the question, "How do I backspin it?"

On the occasion that the Blazer gets paired up with a hack, the hack will invariably ask how to put backspin on the ball.

After years of hackatural selection, this question has become an automatic response of a hack seeing a playing partner's ball check up after landing on a green.

The Green Blazer's explanation of backspin took years to perfect, but now we have it nailed down perfectly and condensed it into a simple three part answer.

1. Try not sucking -- When you suck, spinning a ball becomes increasingly difficult unless in the form of a bionic slice.

2. Don't use Pinnacle Gold -- Even though the hack, "likes the yellow ones" the rock hard cover of a Pinnacle or Top Flite XL will not produce much spin. (note: The Blazer is not advising hacks to go out and spend their hard earned wages on a $50 box a golf balls. Due to a horrible motion, hacks likely won't get any more juice from a Pro V1 than from their current choice of ball).

3. Make solid contact -- Putting backspin on a ball when you're chucking, topping, or toe shanking every shot is a difficult task.
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This three part answer will quickly silence most hacks. Granted, G Blaze could do like most golfers and pad his own ego by giving the hack a detailed explanation of shaft lean at address and how to strike it on a descending blow, but even if the hack can decipher the information, he certainly won't be able to apply it.

Until next time, this has been another edition of "You know you're a hack when ..." Feel free to search the archives if you're interested in reading previous editions of this recurring segment.

If the hacks didn't play them, who would?