You know it's a dump driving range when ...

They charge you to putt ...








Thanks to Jasper Keaton for sending this over

Out of his range

Jerry Rice makes embarrassing gaffe
Since the golfer is responsible for the caddie he chooses, G-Blaze is gonna go ahead and call this blunder embarrassing rather than humiliating ...

Adding insult to injury Jerry Rice disqualified himself from the Nationwide Tour event he took last in with rounds of 92-82 by using a laser range finder during the second round. The fact that Rice didn't know that this was illegal should completely blow the mind of every competitive golfer out there. Another question is that if Rice and his caddie thought this was legal, why weren't they using it on every shot that week? You mean they were eyeballing yardage when they thought they could gun it?

Rice admitted after the round that he isn't good enough for this type of competition and will not be playing any Nationwide Tour events in the future.

There is one bright spot in what had to go down as one of Jerry Rice's worst weeks ever ... At least he wasn't using a SkyCaddie.

Tiger Woods' fat-mouthed neighbor launches profiteering website

Fellow Isleworth resident claims to give untold story of world No. 1

It took him a hot minute but fellow Isleworth resident to Tiger Woods, Jerome (Jay) Adams is the latest profiteer trying to gain off the world No. 1 golfer's fall from grace.

James recently launched a pay-per-view website which he claims will provide stories of Tiger Woods never heard until now. James claims in a preview video on the site that he will give an “eyewitness account” of the Woods car accident scene on Nov. 27 even though it was Adams' brother Jarius that provided details to police the night of the car accident.

Jerome James goes on to claim in the same video on his new pay-per-view website that now his family wants “to tell exactly what happened that night.”

The only way this hump could know exactly what happened is if he was peeping in the windows the billionaire golfer's home that night. If James really wanted the story out then he wouldn't be be charging $4 for the privilege of hearing it. This is simply the latest in the many money-making ploys targeting Tiger Woods.

James, who admittedly is disdainful towards Woods, makes claim about Woods and his treatment of wife Elin Nordegren that James likely completely blew out of proportion. In the first PPV clip on the site, sportsbybrooks.com reports that Adams says he once saw Tiger push Elin to hurry her up when Tiger was eager to leave. Adams says he witnessed Woods grabbing one of Elin’s arms and, “he shoves her. … I was stunned by what I saw.”

There is no evidence behind James' claims, but alas he will release another video that he says will focus on the Thanksgiving accident scene.



Further proof that he would use his unique position to exacerbate stories for a few thousand dollars, Jay-bone even came up with a fresh, novel-like title for his m.m.o. -- "Behind the Gates, The Untold Story (Until Now!) of Tiger Woods."

note -- In unpromotional spirit, The Green Blazer will not be including a link to James' website

Being Badds is good unless he's "stacked"

A year removed from Aaron Baddeley quitting the stack and tilt golf swing, the "I'm stacked" commercial continues to buzz like a knat in Golf Channel viewers' ears worse than the sound of Michael Breeds' voice.

Apparently Badds stacked off all his chips in his relationship with the pros behind the video series, "The Stack and Tilt Golf Swing" and they just continue to run it regardless of Badds is stacked or not.

It's worth mentioning that there is a direct correlation between Aaron Baddeley adopting the stack and tilt swing method and his plummet in the world rankings.

For The Green Blazer's detailed description of the stack and tilt golf swing, click here.

He's not stacked ... But the commercial still is.

Those bars on the side of the screen indicate that The Stack and Tilt commercial is not HD compatible.

Tiger Woods pissed ... And the Blazer loves it!

This is what everyone will be freaking out about later today. G-Blaze loves it when Tiger gets pissed and loves it even more when he's fist pumping for victory. When I heard he was going to tone down his emotions I thought, "Shit this sucks ... Tiger is not going to get pissed anymore; that's a bunch of bullshit."

People make such a big deal about his temper, but we at The Green Blazer Corps love it. "Oh ... the children," they say. "Oh ... he's not being respectful of the game." That's a bunch of hog wash. If anybody is really that offended by his outbursts, they're probably a complete pussy.

Here's Tiger with a perfectly normal response for an athlete that just made an error:

Tiger hater makes funny at Augusta

G-Blaze grabbed this pic from sportsbybrooks.com -- the authority in sports gossip. If only Tiger could hit is high and long enough to bring that plane down in a barrage of golf balls.

You know you're a hack when ...

You use your retriever so often that you finish a round with more golf balls than you started with ...






The always desperate Callaway never misses an opportunity to capitalize on the hack market. This retriever pictured here with headcover is the perfect compliment to your Odyssey chipper.

Tiger still bested by tiger in Google search

Reported today by Green Blazer Media Group, world No. 1 Tiger Woods is still being one-uped by tiger, the striped feline that is the favorite animal among many young children, in Google image search results.

When a Googler types "Tiger" in the search box, the billionaire golfer doesn't make it on the first page. In fact, it isn't until page-10 that the golfer makes his first appearance showing that although he might be bigger than the game of golf, he's not bigger than the entire animal kingdom.

It has not yet been announced whether Woods' team will attempt a "Google Bomb" or any practices intended to challenge the big cat for the No. 1 spot.

Tiger "New Endorsement" posts were never funny

... and now they're getting more played out than Hip Hoppers 'keeping it real.'

So in the spirit of keeping it real, G-Blaze made a vow with himself to never come up with his own clever version of a satirical "Tiger's new endorsement" post.

Instead, we will go ahead and review some bloggers' ideas of a funny post in order of how obvious and stupid they are. note -- If you think these are funny, you probably don't have a very good sense of humor.

-- This one is certainly the stupidest. Any idiot could come up with this, but I'm sure the douchebag who posted it was very proud of his tag-line and photoshop work. Finding the original poster of any of these is nearly impossible because they were so highly circulated by email forwarding baby-boomers.
























-- Most would enjoy watching Tiger smack the smirk off this next artist's face with a with a hard 6-iron.


-- Don't know if this one qualifies as an endorsement deal post, but we will include it anyway. This artist certainly just heard the oversized head, stiff shafted wood joke for the first time and found it so funny he just couldn't resist himself.

























-- The Lays endorsement post is certainly the most clever one that we came across, but the conspicuousness of the idea outweighs the urge to chuckle, so do your best to resist.

The Green Blazer's morning with Tiger

10:40 am EST -- The Green Blazer awakes after a 12 hour online poker session that lasted until 5:00am ... Another all-too-familiar final table bubble that pays so much less than the effort is worth.

10:45 am -- The robust Italian espresso pours out of GB's DeLongHi machine into a stainless steal cup. Espresso is GB's newest vice -- much different from Tiger's vice that he is about to apologize for.

10:50 am -- GB turns on The Golf Channel to catch the last 10 minutes of their Tiger Woods speech pregame. I still chuckle at the idea of a speech pregame. The Golf Channel reports that the Golf Writers Association are boycotting the speech. I think that many of them will now look back at that decision with regret.

11:00 am -- I switch channels to NBC because I wasn't 100 percent certain The Golf Channel would actually have the speech live, and I didn't want to miss a single word. I should have known better.

11:02 am -- Tiger emerges from backstage and the NBC commentator is cutoff mid-sentence by another broadcaster.

11:03 am -- Tiger starts to speak quite robotically from the sheet of paper in front of him. He seems more nervous and awkward than I ever remember seeing him. The first thing I notice is his receding hairline. It was always there, but it probably dropped back a full inch in the last few months.

11:07 am -- Something goes wrong with the feed and the screen goes dark for a moment. The audio stays intact. When the visual returns, it is from a side profile and will remain that way for the rest of the speech.

11:09 am -- Tiger does the first thing that I didn't expect and he admits that he thought the normal rules didn't apply to him. "I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn't have to go far to find them." I thought this was the best part of the speech.

11:11 am -- Tiger asked the media to "please leave my wife and kids alone." He is wasting his breath.

11:12 am -- I'm surprised to hear Tiger talk about his religion. I never knew he was a Buddhist.

11:15 am -- Tiger's speech ends and he walks down from the podium to hug his mother. I still wonder if the rumors of his father's infidelity are true. We will likely never know for sure, but my intuition says yes.

11:16 am -- Tiger then moves towards his wife Elin's family. He hugs her mother. I still think the family is somewhat enamored by his presence. This will likely never go away. He does a sort of handshake/hug to two younger guys who I assume are Elin's brothers. They do not seem angry at him.

11:17 am -- I switch back to The Golf Channel as I like listening to Brandel Chamblee better than any other non-golf commentators.

11:18 am -- Charlie Rymer begins to talk and you can see the tears building in his eyes. His bottom lip starts to quiver and he can't seem to hold the tears in. I laugh out loud at the idea of Rymer crying after Tiger's speech. Rymer says that when he sees someone showing that much emotion it makes him emotional. I did not see the emotion in Tiger that Rymer speaks of until Tiger hugged his mother after the speech.

Brandel Chamblee takes Tiger's back on the highly scrutinized speech timing. He says that he was watching Paul Casey and Sergio Garcia criticizing Tiger on CNN and notes that Accenture's logo was plastered behind them -- an advertisement they wouldn't have gotten had Tiger not chose this time. Chamblee also notes that Tiger's speech was scheduled hours before the Match Play broadcast, and had Tiger really been trying to stick it to his former sponsor Accenture, he'd of held the speech during the coverage.

11:30 am -- Rymer's emotional response leads to The Green Blazer's first ever Twitter post.

*I don't know if either of these people were the pioneers, but I'd like to credit both Dan Peterson (ESPN) and Bob Smiley (Author of 'Follow the Roar') with the formatting idea of this post.

Taylormade's 'Find your lame' Project Burner promotion

Is the barrel full of old golf clubs in your garage in need of some more worthless crap? If so, Taylormade's new promotion will leave you and 19,999 others finding your 6 iron game by registering at Taylormade.

With so many golfers in need of new 6 irons, Taylormade is filling that void with their latest promotion -- Project Burner.

From Taylormade's fancy, difficult to navigate webpage:
"Project Burner is on a mission to replace obsolete irons. Over 133,000 golfers have switched to Burner making it the No. 1 selling iron ... Now it's your turn."

That's right ... Instead of just giving away 2,500 boring full sets, Taylormade is giving 20,000 people a chance to stick one oddball club in the bag. Make sure you head over to Taylormade and register soon or your chance to win some of Taylormade's purposeless scraps will be gone.




Since the 6 iron pictured here will serve no golfing purposes for you, try chopping it down and giving it to your local junior golf program or use it as a effective, convenient bludgeoning device.

Men around the globe lose respect for Fred Couples

Crowd favorite Fred Couples gave the Champions Tour a bump along with the world's biggest badass Tom Watson when the two had a memorable Sunday duel that put anything that the Bob Hope Classic could offer to shame.

Unfortunately for Freddie, he was deserving of a hard bitch slap when asked a what his favorite James Cameron movie was. As G-Blaze sat enjoying the coverage with billy in hand, the thought, "No Freddie ... please don't say it" came when the lackey posed the question. Freddie's answer: "Well I haven't seen Avatar, so I'd have to go with Titanic." Ouch ... He could have went with Terminator, T2, Rambo 2, Aliens, True Lies, but no ... He'd rather watch Leo leave his heart on the screen while tens of weeping women look on in amazement.

Hopefully Freddie can redeem his manhood again soon ... A few 340 drives at 50 years-old should do it.

Coursetrends trending towards hackiness

CourseTrends, a company that designs websites for golf courses all over the U.S., bills itself as, "The #1 provider of golf marketing solutions." They'll design a course's website, setup a a email marketing program, and claim that by using their sophisticated marketing system your course will generate a 400% return on investment.

It's amazing that so many courses will actually pay the ridiculous prices they charge for facilitating a website and auto-sending a couple emails a month. Upon trying to help our club settle on a new website solution, G-Blaze took a look at a typical website that's "Powered by Coursetrends." After one glance, I can tell you with utmost certainty that these are not real golfers behind this company. For proof, look no further than Exhibit A:









EXHIBIT A

This is a stock picture provided by CourseTrends for courses to use on their website. Nothing says golf like a hack waring a pair of $25 golf shoes placing hard, shiny white ball a top his step tee while waring a black baseball glove. If you're a golf course owner looking to "power" your website using Coursetrends, let G-Blaze be the first to suggest you don't get fooled.

Instead, go with a local brovider (a brovider is a bro that provides a skill set on the cheap as an alternative to a more expensive corporate provider). Coursetrends -- The #1 provider of Golf Marketing solutions from people who couldn't break 90 if someone was holding their families hostage demanding they do so ...

Daly, Wilson find groovy loophole

Dean Wilson digs through the barrel in his garage looking to bang the dust off his old Ping Eye 2 wedges. These wedges have box shaped grooves, the type of grooves that are illegal on the PGA Tour starting in 2010. But, While playing the Sony Open this week in Hawaii (pronounced Ha-wa-eeeeeeee), Wilson and John Daly are relying on a precedent set in the 80s where a court settlement said any Ping-Eye 2 made before April 1, 1990, remains approved under the Rules of Golf.

"That settlement still takes precedence over the new regulation," Dick Rugge, the USGA’s senior technical director, told The Associated Press.

Daly stopped by Ping headquarters in Phoenix, AZ on his way to Hawaii and surprised company officials by the number of old wedges he had found. He says he has eight or nine sets.

Even so, he asked Ping for a set of V-shaped grooves that he might use at Torrey Pines later this month.

"A golf course like San Diego, you want V grooves in your wedges because the greens are so soft,” he said. “Here, you want square grooves. I’ll probably go through the year switching a lot."

Wilson said he hasn’t tried to compare the spin rate on the Ping wedges with new clubs.

“I’m not so much concerned with the grooves as I am the design of the wedge,” Wilson said. “If it does create more spin, great. But I can’t tell you it honestly does.”

Daly said he first tried his old wedges when he played in Australia last month.

EXPECT THIS $225 STARTING BID TO BE THE EBAY NORM NOW ONCE GOLFWRX NERDS THAT THINK THEY'RE GOING PRO CATCH WIND OF THE RULE-JIMMY THAT REAL PROS ARE EXPLOITING

Tiger to smooth things over with Haiti relief

Billionaire golf mega-don Tiger Woods has not been seen or heard from since the night he redefined "Black Friday," but in a recent development the Tiger Woods Foundation will smooth over Tiger's infidelity with Haiti relief effort. The Foundation hasn't given an official figure yet, but if Russel Simmons' blow-up is on target, $3 million is the number.

Although this seems like a blatant yet benevolent attempt to gain pub-relations points, this isn't the first time Tiger's Foundation has helped relief efforts. Woods’ foundation gave $100,000 to tsunami relief efforts in 2004. It also gave the Baton Rouge Area Foundation $200,000 in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.