Showing posts with label Colin Montgomerie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Colin Montgomerie. Show all posts

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Sunday Smorgasbord

Ryder Cup picks have Monty making his 'O' face

This year will mark the first year since 1989 that the Ryder Cup will be played without Colin Montgomerie. Monty and his lofty fade have produced a 20-9-7 lifetime Ryder Cup record, which is impressive to all (except, of course, non-Euro-American golfers, who could give a shit less).

After the captain's picks were released, a reported "war of words" erupted between Ian Poulter and Colin in a west London restaurant. Both the golfers' managers deny the claim, saying it was completely made up.




















"O" SO DIFFERENT:
Monty's O-face is not one of pleasure, but rather disgust after failing to receive a captain's pick for this year's Ryder Cup.
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As promised, The Green Blazer is back this Sunday with another blazin' hot edition of

Speak of the Week:

The son-in-law shot: Not what you pictured, but you'll take it.

The next time you hit a shot that didn't come off the way you planned but ended up pretty good, bust out the above line. This one works especially well if you are an middle aged man with a recently married daughter like Jack (Robert De Niro), pictured below. And it's even funnier if your new son-in-law's name is Gaylord Focker.


















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Although they look strikingly similar, the face on the left is a professional golfer. The right, a Hollywood movie star. Green Blazer Golf is asking readers to

Name that mug

Submit your guesses by commenting to this post. The first correct guess will receive a free subscription to the upcoming Green Blazer Golf Comic Book/Variety Magazine.* But make sure to get those picks in today, faithful readers, because the contest ends next week with the release of the full faces in the weekly Smorgasbord.






*subscription does not necessarily mean 12 issues



And finally, with all this recent talk of drilling in ANWR, remember to make your voices heard in this election season. Help protect the pristine landscape of the American wildlife refuge from pumpjacks, oil rigs and diesels. Work to spare those open fields, dense patches of trees, challenging slopes with slight dog legs and large patches of fescue. After all, that area would be perfect for a couple of sweet golf courses!

Think about the future, people!

Until next week ...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Colin Montgomerie is Above the Law

Despite the fact that Colin Montgomerie is adored by golf fans in Europe, his aloof attitude toward American golf spectators surely hasn't given him a fan-favorite reputation here in the states. Between him and the Simpsons' Mr. Burns, the name "Montgomerie" is regarded with a sort of comedic disdain in the US (although The Blazer appreciates Monty Burns' taste in jackets).

As far as Colin Monty is concerned, his majorless career and unwillingly adopted nicknames such as "Mrs. Doubtfire" seem to have added even more coals to his already red-hot temper. There is one habit that helps Monty neutralize his irritation, however: speeding.

Actually speeding, then using his influence to avoid a ticket, as it seems Monty has crafted his legal hurdling almost as masterfully as his lofty fade.

Back in September of '04, Monty was busted driving 96mph near his home in Surrey. The case colapsed after the officer failed to appear in court. Then on February 24, '07, he was caught again (on camera) doing 88 in a 70 zone. This time the case was reported as "not called" after local authorities in Surrey failed to document the incident until after the six month time limitation . . . oops.

Like a round well played with Alastair McLean's help, Monty wasn't able to pull his legal birdies off alone. He enlisted the help of the ever-crafty shyster Nick Freeman. Freeman specializes in using subtle legal technicalities to get celebrity clients off the hook when they're caught disobeying the rules of the road. Apparently he's also helped Sir Alex Ferguson and David Beckham get acquitted of driving offenses. Damn, where was this guy when Paris Hilton needed him?

The Blazer wonders, for legendary greens keeper Carl Spackler's sake, can he be of any assistance in golf cart DUIs?

Green Blazin' Blog: Bill Murray Golf Cart DUI