Movie Monday - Tiger Waits on a Fumbling Patraig Harrington

Tiger gives Padraig Harrington the classic, "Hurry the f*ck up pose" as Padi and his caddy frantically fumble around taking a drop near the lateral hazard. Padi, along with Rory Sabbatini's bitchass, who withdrew for personal reasons (he was hacking) , might find their invitation to next year's Target World Challenge lost in the mail...

Green Blazer Voted Coolest New Golf Blogger

The Hooked on Golf Blog recently voted thegreenblazer.blogspot.com to be the coolest new golf blog of 2007.



Thanks for the article, and some props back to you, HOG, for your foresight in those matters of URL claim staking. Unfortunately one of G Blaze's Arch Enemies has already snatched the aforementioned URL, no doubt tipped off by the notoriety of your published observation. You have some villains in your readership, HOG; but no worries, The Green Blazer understands it's nothing personal. Alas, in a world where superheroes exist, there will always be supervillains trying to thwart them.

Nonetheless it's to no matter, as The Green Blazer had something more apt and poignant already pre-registered at the time of the unsolicited yet much appreciated recognition from "about the fourth golf blog ever created," as self-proclaimed in the generous and well-crafted journaling.

Thanks, hookedongolfblog, for your recognition. Like Steve Stricker winning, "comeback player of the year" twice consecutive, The Green Blazer will be looking forward to your vote for coolest new golf blog of 2008 as well.

Introducing Satire Saturday

Woods' Self Sufficiency Drives Swing Coach Into Depression

It has been reported that Hank Haney, swing coach of Tiger Woods, has slipped into a severe state of depression over the last few months. Woods has backed off his time spent with Haney this off-season, apparently causing an emotional breakdown in the usually stable Haney.

“It’s just not fair,” said a sobbing Haney in a recent interview. “I treat him so good; why do we need to take these breaks?”

Woods said he was surprised to hear his swing coach was taking the separation that seriously. “I thought we had an understanding that this was just a break,” he said.

This coming from a number one golfer who is no stranger to relationship problems. Who can forget the superstar's separation from world-renown instructor Butch Harmon, a train wreck that finished about as smooth as the mud-packed face of a hacker's PureSpin "Diamond Faced" sand wedge. Butch was able to dampen the sting by acquiring Phil Mickelson, the world's number two, but apparently the number two isn't big enough to fill the void Tiger left. Harmon himself even said “The empty space never gets filled when you lose the precious, or, I mean, something that precious.”



According to Woods, the relationship with Haney was growing stagnant and a little space this off-season was needed. "As I've said, this is just a break," reiterated Woods. "It's not him, it's me."

This should be good timing for Haney, whose ailing wife is in need of nurturing at this time, but Haney seemed to feel being on the range with Woods was more important. "My wife, she's family, but not as much as Tiger has become my family. And nothing's more important than family ... Even if he doesn't always realize it."

Woods has made it clear on several occasions that Haney was still his teacher. Haney's paints a different picture, however, suspecting Woods may have been seeing another swing coach prior to requesting the separation. Woods called the allegations “Ridiculous.”

Golfer/Celebrity Look-alikes 2

Robert Allenby and Ian MacCallister Lead Voice Against Party Hole Concept

At this year's Australian Open, they are throwing out golf's traditional "quiet please" atmosphere and instead are trying to capture the ambience of a drunken social gathering. The 11^th hole at Australia's national tournament will feature a fully stocked bar, loud music, and an MC whose sole mission is to pump up the crowd. Robert Allenby (along with lead traditionalist against Titleist's NXT golf ball, Ian MacCallister) lead the group of in opposition to the party concept. Despite their efforts, Golf Australia is embracing the idea. The players themselves have also been generally accepting of the initiative, just so long as the noise from the gallery is consistent.

Movie Monday: Fore Inventors Only Confrontation

The Blazer "Firmly Believes" Steve Duemig hated this guy from the get go...

Movie Monday - Vijay is a Bad Ass

Rick Lerner peed his pants immediately following the interview

Golfer/Celebrity Look-alikes 1

Trump will Build the World’s Greatest Golf Course Somewhere Other than Aberdeen

Donald Trump’s plot for world domination took a step backward yesterday as his proposal to build the world’s greatest golf course (along with 1500 homes and a hotel) was shut down by members of the infrastructure committee. The vote went seven for the proposal and seven against, but committee chairman Martin Ford scored in overtime by using his casting vote to reject the bid. Many members of the community in favor of big business development in environmentally safe areas were outraged by the decision. One resident went so far as to assault a liberal councilor who opposed the project. Ms. Storr described the incident by overusing the term “hurl abuse.”

"I heard a banging on the door and when I opened it there was a woman standing there who proceeded to hurl abuse at me.

"She was very angry it had been refused and continued hurling abuse at me.

"I asked her who she was and if she would moderate her language. She told me who she was, but she did not moderate her language. She continued hurling abuse at me.”

When the abuse hurler became annoyed by Storr’s smugness, she hurled even more abuse by cursing at Storr and shoving her. The only hurl abuse the Green Blazer sees is himself wanting to hurl after hearing Storr's abuse of the term.

Movie Monday - Goin' to town Vol. 1: Kelly Gruenwald

How bout Kelly Gruenwald goin' to town?

Movie Monday - Golf Gods Givith, then Takith Away

No one said Golf Gods had to be fans of Christians ...

Movie Monday - Commentator not taking any chances with a miscommuni ... cation

Satire - Even Tommy Armour III won’t sign with Tommy Armour

Tommy Armour Golf's notoriety has been on a gradual downslide since the days the 845 was a tour favorite. It's gotten so bad that the brand can't even sign Tommy Armour himself. After the release of the Hywood, the equipment company decided to make one last ditch effort to sign their main man. Although the deal guaranteed him nearly double what he gets now, TAIII didn't take the bait. He said his game is somewhat unstable as it is, and using second-rate equipment may make it worse. When the equipment company pointed out that the deal wouldn't require TAIII to use Armour equipment, just where the hat, TAIII responded by saying, "None the less...I still don't want to be associated with that sort of underperformance." He also mentioned that it doesn't make sense selling out to a lesser quality company for more money at this point in his career.

Bravo to Tommy Armour for leading the stand against unsatisfactory equipment. He receives the Green Blazer Keepin it Real Award '07

 

Tiger Woods: Good Acting or Actual Homophobia?

Dick Johnson Thrusts His Way to Victory

Despite not being the longest, Dick Johnson definitely had the best stroke at the Nationwide Tour Championship last weekend as he rhythmically pounded the field at the Barona Creek Golf Club.

Stamina intact, Johnson wasn’t spent after a quadruple bogey on Saturday, and Dick continued to get it in the hole under par as he rode the leaderboard on top, giving a big "In your face," to anyone who ever doubted the larger-than-life Johnson.

According to a former caddy and washer of Dick Johnson’s balls, “Dick Johnson may be really swinging well right now, but there’s no doubt his extra stiff shafts and large club head have helped raise his game.”